I just discovered this banana carcass on the carpeted floor of our family room upon inspecting the work of my husband Dennis, whom I'd successfully cajoled into vacuuming up a sludge pile of spilled Joe's O's aka Cheerios®.We used to refer to our family room as "the white room" due to the proliferation of white shelving units therein. But seeing as how the room hasn't actually been white in a very long time, in the manner of my soul, my teeth, and the parts of my eyes circling the green rings, we now simply call it the family room.
Firstly, wasn't it clever of me to tell my husband that the big vacuum "doesn't work for me"?
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Me: It just doesn't work for me. I don't know why.
Dennis: What do you mean? It works perfectly. I just used it yesterday.
Me: There's something wrong with it. I can't get it to work. I don't know what the problem is. Every time I try to vacuum I end up going over the same spot again and again and again and why don't we just get rid of this thing and get one of those units with the wand and the....
Dennis: Taking off down the hallway, hands over ears, one hand stretched pleadingly towards the closet that houses our perfectly functional vacuum cleaner.
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Secondly, and I love men, I really do, and I respect them as a species of person, and hate those awful "little husband brain" ads that put them in the same category as intellectually-challenged gerbils, but leave it to a man to vacuum a room to a state of fuzzy perfection, yet allow a violated banana to remain on the floor.
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Dennis: You said to get the Cheerios, you didn't say anything about a banana. It's fine. Just leave it there.
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Thirdly, does anybody have any clue why there are dots and a small cross pressed into the banana? I'm at a loss.
Fourthly, I think I read somewhere that ants are repelled by bananas and all manner of sugary things. Going forward into summer/satanic ant season, I think it would be prudent to place a quarter of a banana in each corner of each room in our house. Under our bed. On Dennis' pillow.
I think I'll do it today.
Anne, I didn't even think of that! Perhaps it was an Easter message from the powers that be. :) You never know.
ReplyDeleteCarpet is always a pain in the butt. Why was it invented? And how about that short greyish kind that's in our current house, and every house or apartment I've ever rented? It's just a stain magnet. Why did that calico shag carpet go out of style? Much better at hiding stains, if you ask me. And feet.
Hey, did you move Anne on Writing or delete it? I was looking for it just now and couldn't find it.
I'm a man, but I wouldn't have left that in the floor. I, at least, would have eaten it. ;)
ReplyDeleteAs for the dots and the cross, I think it's Morse code. I can't decipher the code to see what it is reading, but evidently Dennis couldn't either. However, to be honest, I would have been intrigued and in all honestly, probably would have put it on my desk in my office while I, at least, Googled to see what it all meant. Hey, that gives me an idea...see you later. :)
.-= Unfinished Rambler´s last blog ..Pericles would =-.
Hmmm, much as I'd love to see you write the oh-so-creative eBay sales pitch for a soon-to-be over-the-hill banana, I think what we're seeing here is evidence that you did not, in fact, feed Joe-Joe and Lily Cheerios, but rather...Lucky Charms!
ReplyDelete.-= Holly Jahangiri´s last blog ..Spring Break and Birthday Weekend (Part IV) =-.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by unfnshdrambler, Anne Bender. Anne Bender said: Watch for this in an eBay auction near you soon ~ RT @Happymaker The Magical Mystery Banana http://bit.ly/cgPgPX [...]
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha ha ha! Yeah, I'm sure the banana is just fine. It'll just create a larger mess by sitting there over a long period of time....
ReplyDelete______________________________
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but leave it to a man to vacuum a room to a state of fuzzy perfection, yet allow a violated banana to remain on the floor.
ReplyDeleteIt is a science experiment. We just want to see what happens.
.-= Jack´s last blog ..Passover 2010- Grandma is Gone =-.
I love hardwood as well. It's so warm. Tile is okay - I definitely agree on the white tile. Why do people install that? It's like they WANT to mop every day.
ReplyDeleteCool! I just added your new blog to my reader. I LOVE your theme. I almost used that one myself. Good work!
What happens is your wife picks it up, takes a picture with her BlackBerry and writes a blog post about it. Let that be a lesson to you! ;-)
ReplyDeleteHa! Good guess! However, I wasn't allowed to eat Lucky Charms as a child, and so must my children suffer. Ha HA!
ReplyDeleteJhong, man! Who's the Jhong man? If Jhong is wrong I don't want to be right!
ReplyDeleteAh, one more reason not to encourage said wife to get a BlackBerry. ;)
ReplyDelete.-= Jack´s last blog ..Passover 2010- Grandma is Gone =-.
At first, I thought I was looking at some species of snake. The pits kind of looked like scales and there is a seed-like thing just to the right of the + that almost looks like an eye. This banana and all its nooks and crannies would seem to have been impressed with the hidden secrets and depths of your "white room."
ReplyDelete.-= Jason Zuckerman´s last blog ..Big Fish Head =-.
HA! LOL! Love this. Who knew you could paint a picture with your words as well? Reminds me of something off of "The White Album". Natch.
ReplyDeleteI am the one who usually does the vacuuming since I am not usually satisfied with my husband's cleaning prowess. Sometimes, I miss my maids when I was staying in the tropics because I don't need to do a single thing.
ReplyDeleteI think the banana got stuck unto something and got engraved with those patterns. Looks cool though!
.-= Charles Bjørnsen Ravndal´s last blog ..A Clean Slate =-.
Hey, I want to stay in the tropics! I've never even been to Hawaii. Sigh. Then again, now that we are in Texas instead of California we might be closer to some cooler places. Hmmm...
ReplyDeleteI just wonder what made the patterns. Maybe Joe has a fancy pinky ring he hides from me when I enter the room.
Ewwwwwww! I don't like bananas at the best of times, but that one there is just plain icky. No wonder the vacuum didn't want to eat it...
ReplyDelete.-= K.M. Weiland´s last blog ..Antagonists Don’t Have to Be Evil =-.
Hi, K.M.! You bring up a good point. It's probably for the best the vacuum didn't gobble it up.
ReplyDeleteSo I stumbled upon your blog from brainfoggles blog. Then I was just passing by and see that nasty banana lol.
ReplyDelete.-= Brian P´s last blog ..American Express Blue Cash Giving Away Dunkin Donuts Gift Cards =-.
Hey Brian, thanks for coming by. ConnieFoggles is a champ, glad to be associated with her in any way. :) Don't worry, the banana doesn't bite. It's just stinky.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your blog!
Great blog. That could be the name of a children's book. The magical mystery Banana!
ReplyDelete@David Seow - I agree! Hmm... And thanks for coming by. Sorry it took me so long to respond. I've been trying to put my many houses in order. :)
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