Moms: Don't Get Sick!

Image by cutglassdecanter via Flickr

It finally happened - this thing I'd been dreading since becoming a mother. It didn't ask me first. There was no pleasant tea and biscuit-riddled discussion circle. It came and took me with the force of 1,000 body snatchers. It was more ghastly than watching John Basedow tongue-kiss Rosie O'Donnell at a People for the Ethical Treatment of Pond Scum meeting, more beastly and efficient than a rogue lop-eared Romulan with an axe to grind and a faltering emotional filter. It was, and ever-so-slightly-still-is, the stomach flu.

But at least it's over. Almost. For years now I've been heeding warnings from my friends with small children. Pasty-faced and earnest, boxes of Dayquil clutched to their breasts with trembling, near-licentious passion, they graciously offer sentiments like, "Dooon't geeet *cough* siiiick!"

"It's not worth it," one said.

"An impossibility," countered another, shaking her head a little too fast for a little too long.

"Don't let it happen," croaked a third, clutching my shirt and breathing the words into my face, spattling germ-ridden particles into my nose and mouth before loosening her grip to hug herself, rocking slightly as her eyes glazed over like those of a dead shark.

I had been living in fear for far too long. Alas, no longer! The barbarian came and attacked; it hit me over the head with a club of agony and pain and rendered me virtually incapable of caring for my children for a small time, one of my worst fears, forcing the issue and making it necessary for me to ask for... oh God I can't even say it, okay I'll say it, to ask for help.

Firstly, please know that I realize how lucky I am to only have contracted this sickness when so many more horrific and impossible ones exist, and that I have people to turn to for help. So many single and military moms out there don't have any recourse, and must suffer through the completely debilitating initial phase of the stomach flu in the fetal position while their children cry next to them, somehow mustering the strength to creep finger-over-finger into the kitchen and get their little ones the oral nourishment they require.

I have my own mother, who is suffering from a lingering sickness herself, renewed this morning, forcing her to call me for jello and ice chips, and most likely meaning that we will have to put off our move, which frustrates me to no end as I'm desperate to get this show on the road and it seems beyond reason that the universe is trying to pin us here indefinitely. (No, I don't blame you, Mom. No, I don't blame you, Mom. No, I don't blame you, Mom. I am not an awful person who would blame her Mom for something she can not help. I'm not. I'm not.) Still, she was able to come over at just the right time and do what she could for part of the day, make the jello and pudding we would all feast upon, and put the kids to sleep at bedtime. Thank you, Mom. It made all the difference in the world.

I have my husband Dennis, who was unable to leave work early in the morning due to a responsibility that could not be covered by another. I detected the strain in his voice when I asked, as he knew it was unobtainable, but so wanted to be here to help me. Bless him, he managed to leave at 11:30 and pick up some medicine for my mom and myself, along with organic lemon-lime soda. Then, upon being home for a mere couple of hours, he was promptly taken ill and proceeded to vomit like a mad cow well into the evening.

I have my stepson Brian, who may or may not be the culprit who brought the foul brute of a sickness into our home on Christmas, but suffers the guilt as though he's sure of it, who was more than willing to assist, but had to work. He did come over yesterday, bless his big fat heart, to help with the kids while his father and I did our best to recover.

And, of course, there are my babies - Joe and Lily. Lily has been sick for days now, the poor thing, vomiting and uncomfy. It is so hard to watch such a small, beautiful thing in so much discomfort, and not be able to make it better for her. We tried baths, snuggling, and extended bouts of nursing. To be fair, I did the nursing, Dennis did the bathing. Just when it appeared as though she might be feeling better, my sweet angel would upchuck in her crib. This is a nasty, barbarous illness. If Lily is not fully herself today I am going to fashion a goat out of her pain and kick it in the ding ding. Then slap it.

So far, and I'm afraid to even talk about it lest I should awaken fate, Joe has remained his healthy, vigorously perky self.

Now I am in a position to pass the baton of warning to other new moms. Face it: You can't get sick! Long gone are the days when you could convalesce in the comfort of your bed after being stricken by a bug, snoozing at will, watching "What's Happening!" reruns, and perhaps even catching up on your reading. Not only will you not be allowed the sanctity of your recovery time, you will most likely be called to duty. Others in your family will probably be taken ill, if they are not ill already, and they will need you to muster whatever strength you can find to tend to them. And you will do it, no matter how ill, because love, my friends, is the most powerful force in the universe.

Time, love and ice chips will make it all better. Just don't let it happen again! :wink:

We can learn something from Tyler Durden

Re-Post: Originally posted 11/25/2008
I'm still down with the stomach flu, as is Dennis, but there is a light at the end of that tunnel! Hope you all have a fabulous Tuesday. ~ Heather

The other day I happened upon a link to a fun little left brain right brain test that I will not post here due to gratuitous nippleage. I shared the link with The Bitter Half who clicked on one of the side links and found Tyler Durden's 8 Rules of Innovation. Tyler Durden, of course, being a character from Chuck Palahniuk's "Fight Club". He began reading them aloud to me, a fire in his eyes I hadn't seen in months. "You know Heather, this sounds like what you're doing", he said. At the mention of my name, the glaze that had begun to form over my brain evaporated and I began to actually listen to what he was saying.

Tyler’s First Rule of Innovation:

“No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.”

You can spend a lifetime pouring your energy into anything and everything except what truly matters to you. I think it's helpful to plop yourself down in a comfy chair with a pad and pen and literally jot down what makes you happy, engaged and passionate. You might even want to form an outline of sorts based upon that list to include things that support and encourage, or are important to sustain your passions. You do the same when organizing your house—toss anything that you don't consider to be beautiful or useful.

Items on this list may include your family, friends, work, art, sports, health, beauty, love.

If you're feeling exceedingly industrious you may even want to do a flip-side list. Jot down everything in your life that makes you feel sad or angry, drained, or bored. If these items don't coincide items on your passion outline, or are not absolutely critical to sustaining them, make a vow to erase them from your life.

Items on this list may include members of your family, a friend, your job, a workout, etc. You get the picture.

Tyler’s Second Rule of Innovation:

“No fear! No distractions! The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide!”

Gotcha. This is no joke.

Tyler’s Third Rule of Innovation:

“I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let’s evolve, let the chips fall where they may.”

Take chances. Fail. Take another chance. Fail again. Become a whirling dervish. Try anything and everything that comes to your mind. It is only through this process of attempting and failing that we can whittle down our list of might-be's and hone in on what is truly important to us. What we want. If we don't know what we want we aren't ever going to get it. Who knows, during this process we may accidentally discover hidden talents and gain a new sense of possibility.

Tyler’s Fourth Rule of Innovation:

“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”

We can become encumbered by things we thought necessary to sustain us. A job we despise. A relationship. Our mortgage. Our stuff. Things like job loss, breakups and foreclosures can and should be seen as golden opportunities. They just might be the universe's way of shoving us onto the road less traveled. The road that will make all the difference. Sometimes life takes action to do the thing we can not, and as a consequence we are set free.

Tyler’s Fifth Rule of Innovation:

“You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your f*%#ing khakis.”

We are what we are when we lose all of these things. The same us that we were before we had them. Now I think it's okay to have a job, money in the bank and wallet, a car and khakis (if your butt can pull them off), but they are only window dressing. We can not seek to be defined by stuff. Stuff is dead.

It's okay to own some Blahnik's or a BMW if they are on your list of passions or things that sustain your passions. If you find them to be beautiful or useful. Just know that they are not you. They don't make you a better or more beautiful person. They are just shoes or a car and some day they will break or be gone, and that's okay because you will still be there.

Tyler’s Sixth Rule of Innovation:

“People do it everyday, they talk to themselves… they see themselves as they’d like to be, they don’t have the courage you have, to just run with it.”

This is critical. Much harder of course if you are a breadwinner and/or a caregiver and have people who depend on you. But it can be done. Go to night school. Work on your projects whenever and wherever you can. It doesn't really matter if you ever achieve your goal. The pursuit of happiness is a form of happiness.

Tyler’s Seventh Rule of Innovation:

“Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.”

We can be the best that we can be, not the best that she can be. I've been a lot happier since being given the opportunity to stay home and take care of my babies. In the doing of this I have been able to shed decades of false fronts and armor. A suit is a uniform. Although I was good at my job, the business I was in was never a passion of mine, so that uniform became a prison that starved my creative soul.

Every day I am getting to know me a little better. I wish I'd laid down my arms decades ago. And I am thankful to have such a loving and supportive husband who took one look in my eyes the week I was due to return to work after having Joe and said, "You must not go". I simply could not be away from my son. We hadn't planned for it and could not afford it. We've lost a lot of money and things because of it. But it was the best decision we ever made and it has made all the difference.

Tyler’s Eighth Rule of Innovation:

“This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time.”

Act now. Do not allow yourself the opportunity to talk yourself out of making the changes that must be made. It will take some work and some doing, but it will be worth it. I once knew somebody who wanted an MBA. She calculated the time it would take her to achieve her goal by going to night school and said, "I won't have that MBA until I'm forty!". A wise soul said to her, "You will be forty anyway. Wouldn't you rather be forty with an MBA?".

To quote my favorite Star Trek Captain Jean-Luc Picard, "Engage!".

Zombie Attack Imminent!

And just like that...



...my faith in humanity is restored.

Some Florida hackers managed to alter at least two traffic signs either via computer or at the source last week to display this zombie evacuation warning.

Source: Don't fear: zombies are not near

As an aside, don't bother to get all dolled up for a zombie attack as you would for a vampire infestation. Zombies are not that cute, kind of slow, and tend to drool instead of gazing into your eyes with a piercing, agonized expression that says,

"Back away from me, woman! The scent of your sexyblood and your sexyblood alone drives me wild with passion! It hints at a catch and release experience that would satisfy me more deeply and fully than any caffeinated pleasures Señor Juan Valdez and his tasty little donkey snack could ever offer.

I want to kiss you, but I can tell that the taste of your blood would be so intoxicating to me that I might not be able to stop sucking your neck, causing you to die, which would most likely damage the don't ask don't tell vampire-human relations we've worked so hard to forge over the years with our 'We're here, we're inspiring fear, get used to it!' campaign."

However, I do recommend a quick trip to the store to stock up on water and batteries. Avoid any slow-moving store clerks who drag their good leg behind them when they walk.

Source:

Don't fear: Zombies are not near

Merry Christmas & Happy Hanukkah!

I awoke at 4 AM this Christmas Eve and lay there in bed, squeezing my eyes shut, imagining myself in my Grandma's back room, listening to the muffled voices of my early-rising family. There's so much comfort in being a child, safe in bed, half-asleep and half in the land of the sounds and smells and bustle of family just in the other room, family who loves you, family who cooks you awake with bacon, and ruffles your hair and kisses your first tentative daily steps into safety and warmth.

It's never looked and felt less like Christmas in my own home this year, due to our move and the house being mostly packed, but it's never felt more like it in my heart. I would have my children emerge from their rooms this morning into wrinkle in time, so that they may feel as I have felt so many Christmas Eves, as a child, when I looked up to the world and it didn't so much look down on as smile upon me. Flocking, lights, boughs of holly, falalalala lalalala. Arranging and re-arranging the presents under the tree. Taking a musical trip to an open fire, where chestnuts roast, and jack frost nips playfully at your nose.

They won't have that this year. They will have our tiny tree and a sea of candles which Joe will remind me to light, and be amazed and satisfied by. He will tell me, as he has for the last four days, that today is Christmas and that it's time to open the presents. That "it is a good morning".

I will hear Lily awaken and tap her feet all over her wall, and tickle me into smiles with her coos and gaiety. When I bring her into the living room and gently place her on the rug, she will not fret for what isn't there, as, thankfully, she will not remember to register the lack of it. She will pussyfoot over to her brother and laugh at his expression, and they will playfully crawl in circles, chasing each other like puppies.

Dennis will eventually give up on sleep and plod down the hallway, his mind on the Christmas pastries we didn't make, but purchased ahead of time, happy to have them, and wanting our hugs and bodily warmth, to hear our laughter and see our beaming faces and to know that he can rest for today and enjoy the mood and magic that is Christmas.

Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah to you and all you hold dear!
I'm so very glad our paths crossed this year.
Soon 'twill be time to start anew, again...
Let's give the world heck in 2010!

It's Not You, It's Me

Originally published as a guest post by me at Damien Riley's former blog Postcards From the Funny Farm

We've all heard that line plenty of times, right? Right? I know it can't be just me. Perhaps we've heard it enough times that it's become white noise to us. That's a shame, because it shouldn't be.

It really isn't you. It's them.

People have issues. Heaps of them. Myself included. And it's not a new concept that our issues, prejudices, and filters are calibrated in direct proportion to our level of sensitivity and the number of hurts we have endured. Or hugs we have enjoyed. Or were denied.

We know that sometimes we read people the wrong way, misjudge their intentions, misread their words. And usually not in a positive manner. Most often we do it in such a way as to reaffirm our expectation to be rejected, under-appreciated, misunderstood. Or perhaps deep down we think that's what we deserve, so our mind paints other people's words in the bleak, dark colors of a lonely, foreboding swamp. As soon as the words escape their lips, our mental paintbrushes are reaching out, like tentacles, reassigning them and categorizing them in ways and paradigms that make sense to us.

So many of us have fortified our hearts and built up defense systems to protect us before the sword is unsheathed, the revolver cocked. And so we hear what we expect to hear, and it is always about us, the payoff being that we get to be right. Our instincts aren't to be trusted, we are not worthy of respect, we need to change who we are, how we do things, in order to be accepted and appreciated, in order to live rightly.

Our defense systems do not always protect us. At times they even render us emotional slaves to the oft misinterpreted biases, opinions, and personal issues of everyone we come into contact with.

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Example 1:

You just graduated from High School, and are speaking with a friend of your Mother, telling her all about your plans to attend the university in the Fall. Her brows furrow in disapproval, and she puts her hand on your knee, leans into your bubble of personal space and says, "You should put it off for a year and travel. This is the only time in your life where you will be free enough to see the world. If you don't do it now, you will always regret it." Then she gets up and walks away.

Now you are sitting there wondering if she is right. Have you made the right decision? You were very excited about the prospect of entering the university right away, and had never given any thought to travel, but now you are wondering if you are making a mistake. Your day is ruined and you begin to fret.

It's not you, it's her.

While your Mom's friend most likely wants the best for you, what she said had little to do with you, and everything to do with her. She always wanted to see Paris and Italy, and now that she's growing older she fears she never will. It's been weighing on her mind, coloring her thoughts. And now her thoughts are coloring yours.

Example 2:

You are a blogger, and just published your latest article, one from your heart. It is about meditation, and what the practice of it has brought to your life, how it has calmed you and allowed you to slow down and see the subtle nuances in the facial expressions of your loved ones, and enhanced your sense of smell.

You receive a comment from a Twitter acquaintance who tells you that meditation is for kooks and that nobody will take you seriously anymore. You should stick to the topic at hand, and be professional. You are taken aback, but his comment gets under your skin. You begin to wonder if, perhaps, you should keep such personal things to yourself.

It's not you, it's him.

He may long to express himself, but received the same advice early in his own blogging career, and so he is passing it along to you. He never questioned the advice, but blindly followed it. He is not a particularly successful blogger, nor is he happy, but he feels it his his place to impart advice anyway.

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Selfless, helpful people are all around us. It is not my intention to deny their existence, or minimize their contributions to our personal growth. However, my purpose here is to make you aware of the possibility that many comments you hear, either offhand or directed straight at you, are not being spoken to you. Rather, they are being spoken back at the speaker.

It's just as likely that people are speaking to themselves as it is that they are speaking to you.

This is, of course, not quantifiable, but keeping the notion in mind is sure to help stay you on your own track the majority of the time, instead of constantly being shunted of to the route of another. Life is hard enough without internalizing the personal demons of everyone around you. If a comment makes you second-guess a decision, or causes you to feel bad about yourself, please take a moment to sit back and consider the source.

Yes, this is about me, but it's also about you.

Peace be with you this holiday season. Best wishes for the new year. Please believe in yourself, and allow your dreams to unfold.



Image Source

It actually IS me!

Hello everybody. I just wanted to let y'all know that I guest posted at Damien Riley's blog Postcards From the Funny Farm this morning. Here's a link to "It's Not You, It's Me".

Thank you Damien for the opportunity, and for having me. It was a lot of fun.

I turned the comments off on this post so you don't feel obligated to say nice things to me, because I know you hate that. :wink:

Hyenas and Secret Cheerleaders

[caption id="attachment_2212" align="alignleft" width="283" caption="ON THE WAY TO LIGHT AND FREEDOM by Jonas Glock"] [/caption]

Originally posted January 19, 2009. I am re-posting not because I am having hyena trouble, but as a tribute to my present "secret cheerleaders" and to those who have inspired me to secretly, and not-so-secretly, cheer for them.

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Here are some fairly "new to me" concepts that I'm going to blow by you. I've only recently had light bulb moments with regards to some time and attention-related issues.

If people give you a "can't put your finger on it" creepy-crawly feeling, trust your instincts.

I've finally learned to pull the plug on relationships with people who make me feel odd sensations. Hyenas. Jellyfishers. Possible predators. Stalkers. Haters. People who want to use me. Weird people who imagine a closeness and intimacy that does not exist and try to tell me what to do. Or people who think their own situations would be better if I were not around. And I don't feel guilty about it. I owe no explanations. No guilt. I've got other projects to pursue, other people to give my attention to. I will no longer waste my time and my energy on people who give me the feeling that they are either misrepresenting themselves or have hidden agendas. I'm not going to get paranoid. I'm not going to make dramatic scenes. I'm going to quietly slip out the back door.

People who have good intentions do not give you creepy crawly feelings. It's just that simple.

I will give my time and attention to those who are responsive to me.

I'm from the old school of people pleasers. My numero uno rule was to slosh my attentions all over people who did not deserve them. It was partly about being accepted. It was partly about "saving" people. And the more I needed to be saved, the more I ignored my own needs and tried to save others. I think the real intent was to save myself by proxy without having to admit that I had a problem, and to avoid spending any time thinking about myself. If I didn't see myself, I could pretend that I didn't exist. And if I didn't exist, it was easy to drink too much, stay up too late, put myself in dangerous situations, abuse my body, compromise my principles and be generally unkind to myself.

I didn't know it, but I was angry about some things, and took that anger out on myself instead of an appropriate target, or better yet - letting it evaporate into the light. I ignored those who were consistent in liking me, in being responsive to me, and in just "being there". I already had them, so there was no work to be done there. And who wants to be a part of any club that will have me for a member, anyway? Why do they like me? There must be something fundamentally wrong with their character. Better to be around people who cared nothing about me and allowed me to harm myself. As a numbed-out zombie, at least in harming myself I could feel something, anything, as proof that I was in fact still alive.

STUPID! No more. I'm going to give my time and attention to those who are responsive and reciprocal. They don't have to be a major part of my life, but I will no longer chase the attentions of people who ignore me or who are not good for me. If you've been friendly and supportive and kind to me and I've ignored you, I am so incredibly sorry. It was no reflection on you. It was a reflection on me. To those who responded to me, like The Bitter Half, when you showed me myself I became someone else—myself. Thank you for seeing me, and for illuminating my reflection in your mirror.

I will thank my lucky stars for my secret cheerleaders.

I'm beginning to realize that we all have secret cheerleaders. They root for us and pray for us behind the scenes. Either intentionally or incidentally, they fly under our radar. We might be alerted to the presence of our secret cheerleaders during a conflict or personal challenge. It is during these times that we fully expect our best and closest friends to step up to the plate and support us, or to gently get in our faces and tell us the honest truth. We may be surprised when instead, people on the periphery of our lives, about whom we never thought much or expected to be thought of by, are the ones who poke in their heads, uplift us and point us in the direction of the sun.

If only there were a way to identify them when the chips are still up.

Thank you secret cheerleaders. I'm going to be somebody's secret cheerleader too.

Goals for 2010: Blogging or Writing?

What am I trying to do here?

I have no clue. That's not entirely true. Some days I have a clue. The next days I can't find it.

What is my blogging goal for 2010? If I don't know where I want to be my chances of reaching my destination are zippo, zilch, nada. Wait, not nada. That means nothing. Not zippo either, that's a type of collectible lighter.

As is my way, I'm not going to consider what is possible, I'm going to consider what I actually want. Assuming the reality that my net achievements will fall somewhere in-between where I am now, and where I want to be, if I were to lower my brass ring to a reachable level, odds are I would achieve less in the coming year than if I were to toss it away from the carousel and onto the beach, into the waves, where it would most likely be carried out to sea by a passing crab and inevitably swallowed by a curious dolphin. This dolphin would not get sick. The ring would simply tickle the inside of its belly and make it laugh up rainbow bubbles to the surface of the water where they would burst upon the air, their gentle scent eventually wafting back to the boardwalk and infusing it with an air of lightness, hope, and possibility for not only myself, but for all creatures in my vicinity, living and undead alike.

I don't know who I am as a blogger. We need to know who we are to know what we want and what we need. As somebody who does not know who she is, I know I want and need to figure out who I am. A good place to start is by figuring out who I am not.

• I am not nor will I ever be a SEO expert.


• I am not nor will I ever be a Social Media expert.


• I am not nor will I ever be a Blog Monetization expert.


• I am not nor will I ever be a Giveaway Queen. (That takes planning, yee Gods!)


• I am not particularly technologically proficient.


• I am not a dung beetle.


• I am not comfortable networking only with other "Mommy bloggers".


• I am not competitive.


• I am not simply a humor blogger, although life and chances of success would certainly be greater if I were. (Or weren't??)


• I am not a provider of answers (as I learned via the construction of this post).


• I don't want to be tied to my computer, living on the edge of an Alexa rating, fearful that should I take a day or two away to attend to my family or my self, my blog will suffer. I don't want to live my life desperately chasing numbers.


• I am not my blog. I am myself, a wife and mother, daughter, sister, cousin, co-conspirator, buddy, and blogger. The state of my blog should have no bearing on my self-esteem and sense of self.

Where does that leave me? Things look pretty bleak. What hope do I have for success? And what does success mean to me? I need to determine this in order to determine which activities will move me further towards my goals, and which will coax me away from them.

• I wish to cultivate a variety of contacts to whom I can not only relate and find comfort with, but who amuse and fascinate me with their powerful intellects, alternate realities and their knowledge and confidence of self. For this I must look both within and outside of traditional Mommy-blogging circles.


• I would like to expand my readership and create a sense of community herein. I want my readers and commenters to eventually recognize and interact amongst themselves, as well as with me. I want them to have fun in my comments section and look forward to their visits, rather than see them as an obligation of sorts.


• I want to toughen up. It seems that people are not always willing to be kind. I need to not only be prepared for the possibility but expect that sometimes people will leave comments and send emails that are ugly, and that I shouldn't let them effect me in a negative manner. Their negativity is about them, not about me.


• I have no hope of being considered an expert at anything, so for my blogging success I am going to have to shoot for that ridiculously unattainable goal: to achieve a readership based upon who I am and my ability to express myself and connect with other human beings. That's right. I'm hoping that people will want to visit my blog and interact with me and my other readers simply based upon the fact that they like, or are entertained by me in some way. Now that I've determined this I need to make a vow to myself and my readers to always be myself. I can't hover and agonize over my keyboard before pounding out each post, worrying who I might offend if when I say the word poop. I need to be able to relate the details of my crazy, silly life without worrying that my readers will consider me vapid, or worse - ungrateful and unappreciative of the gifts that life has provided me with. I can't provide something helpful and useful in ever post. I can simply be.


• My wish, apparently, is to gain blogging success based upon being myself and providing no value whatsoever to my readership other than entertainment, commiseration, schaudenfraude and possibly pathos.


• To what end? I want to make some money. Blogging alone is a source of satisfaction, but the reality of my situation is that I need to make some money. I am not independently wealthy. I want to do what I love (blogging) and make some money from it. There, I said it. Hmm... the sun is still perched just above a frog-shaped cloud. Earth did not turn on its axis. A sea of spit did not make its way to my face, nor is it currently dripping into my bra.
  
  
  
  • Problem: I can't sell worth a darn. I've tried. I simply don't have that relentless pursuit of victory thing when it comes to separating people from their money.
  
  
  • Problem: Ads won't work on my site because my regular readers don't want to click on Google Ads that lead them to a better iPod carrying case, nor do I particularly want them to.
  
  
  • Problem: My stupid flipping Google Page Rank sits there at PR1 even though I have ten times the readership I did when my blog had a PR3. And you need PR3 or above in order to gander any type of reasonable opportunity with regards to paid blogging.
  
  
  
  

I want to learn to be a good writer. Hopefully upon achievement of that goal I can become a successful writer. Magazine articles? Books? Airport leaflets? STOP signs? Who knows.

Which leads me to this...

• Can one be a successful blogger and a successful writer? I used to assume that the two were natural bed-buddies, but now I'm not so sure. To be a successful writer I will have to do lots of back-end, behind-the-scenes exercises and activities, and submit writings to other places, taking time away from posting here at Happymaking. My posts here help to sharpen my writing skills, but, unfortunately, not the type of writing skills others are willing to pay for. I would like to be a columnist, but since the advent of blogging, I'm not sure the discipline still exists since most blogs are basically self-published columns.


• Let's say I push and squirm and make a deal with the devil and over time my name becomes well-known in the blogdom. What could possibly come of that? Advertising revenue? A book deal? Work-from-home employment opportunities? Paid writing gigs? I simply do not know.

If any of you know what one might hope for upon becoming a well-known "personality" blogger, please do share the wealth of your knowledge. This information will help me form my goals for 2010, and hopefully others as well. I do not seek to be a well-known blogger to appease my ego, but as a means of making a living that allows me to be at home with my children. Since I do not harbor net-translatable knowledge or skills for which others are willing to pay, it is simply my only hope for blogging success.

Should there be no means of procuring a little kaching-ching upon becoming a popular blogger, I'm probably going to have to step off the blogging a bit, and focus my efforts on writing. But at least I will know. Disillusionment can be a wonderful thing!

Thanks for riding alongside me on this journey. Here's to goal-setting and success for us all in the coming year!

Places not to put your Diet Coke

In your freezer. xD

All I Want for Christmas is...

[caption id="attachment_2115" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="My Christmas angel from Grandma"][/caption]

My brother wowed my mother and I today with a comment to her upon receiving our gift packages and placing the presents under his tree...

"...It's so nice to finally have some presents under the tree. Christmas trees are like houses, they need presents under them just like houses need people to shelter."

There is something beautiful about a house, a tree, a person coming to full glory in the realization of their true purpose. Something can be beautiful - an empty house, a Christmas tree standing alone in the corner of a well-decorated room, without being truly alive.

This brings to mind The Velveteen Rabbit, and how he became real upon being loved, needed, and eroded to a sloppy state by hugs and tears.

It is the time of year for Christmas and Hanukkah. So many of us are suffering a gut-wrenching sadness and sense of failure at our inability to present a suitable picture of ourselves, and of our families, to the world. Shouldn't we be perfectly coiffed, our beaming and well-groomed children in our laps, on the Christmas and holiday cards that we mailed out a week ago? Cards that are meant to include lengthy, hand-written sentiments to everyone who cares about us or has done us a nicety or provided a service to us during this past year? Shouldn't the perfect gift to them soon follow? The one that is both needed and appreciated? The one that makes the receiver well with emotion upon realizing that we have come to know who they truly are on the inside, all they mean to us, and the depth of our feelings for them? Followed by organic vegan fudge?

Don't they deserve this? If we do not deliver, aren't we slighting them in a way that will permanently damage their ability to give and receive love?

I used to believe that. Christmas, once my favorite time of the year, was becoming reduced to a time of immeasurable stress and unattainable self-imposed expectations. It got worse after I had children. I lost my head and bought Joe a ton of gifts last year, more than we could afford. A video game unit for the television. A tricycle that he wasn't yet able to ride. More, more and more. He, of course, was overwhelmed and had a hard time focusing. I think he spent most of his time hiding and playing in an empty box.

This year I have been dealing with the same stress, sadness and guilt, compounded by our impending move to Texas. We made the decision not to fully decorate so we didn't have to worry about packing everything right before the move. The other day I was sorting through our 30,001 bins of Christmas things, setting aside as many items as I could bear to part with for charity. The new sights and pretty things to touch inspired Joe to spring to life in a way I hadn't seen him do all year. At one point he even ran to the table and pronounced, "I love you, Mommy." Words I desperately wanted to hear, and so rarely get to hear, from my beloved son. I've waited my whole life to be able to share my love of Christmas with my children. Joe is finally ready to get into it, and we have to deprive him this year. Oh, I can barely stand it.

[caption id="attachment_2116" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="No, they aren't allowed to touch the outlets"][/caption]

But that night as I saw Joe and Lily giggling and batting around cheap garlands and shiny bows saved from Christmases past, I realized that they don't know or care about the Grinch ornaments I won't be putting out this year, or the angel candle I have been lugging around since childhood. They just like bright, shiny things. A little tree from Fresh and Easy, wrapped with disposable garlands and a string of lights, topped by the one thing I allowed myself not to pack and placed on the top of the tree by my husband in a fit of clairvoyance no doubt, the angel crocheted by my late and much beloved Grandma, is all they need. We will put two or three age-appropriate non-mechanical toys under the tree, and I am now fully confident that they will be delighted come Christmas morning.

What they are really wanting, more than age-appropriate gifts or Christmas cookies, is a smiling Mommy and happy Daddy to roll around on the floor with them, read them books and share fond memories. I will be working on shedding layers of stress and false ideas in the coming days so that I may provide them with the gift they are wanting from me both this year, and in the coming years when we are not moving, and are tempted to overdo things. I wasn't able to do it for myself, but I'll be damned if I'm not going to get myself together in time to do it for them. To finally pull that off is all I want for Christmas this year.

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On a side note, my Mom emailed me a TIME article about the Top 10 Dubious Toys around this Christmas and Hanukkah season.

The American Girl Co. has caused an uproar with the release of its limited-edition Gwen doll, who's cute and cuddly and also happens to be homeless. TIME takes a look at some other toys that have made jaws drop.

If you have time and the interest to read it, please share your thoughts in the comments area below. I'm very interested in your take on the state of the toy world. Have a wonderful day and please... go easy on yourself this month. Peace be with you.

The Universe Speaks to Me

It happens all the time and with increasing frequency. I just can't often decipher its messages.

For example, I was reading Charlaine Harris's "Living Dead in Dallas" when my husband's job transfer to Dallas came through. I knew nothing about the possibility of it when I purchased the book.

Little oddities like this happen every day and often, probably most often, just under my radar. My husband Dennis is also in tune to this phenomenon and, as more of a noticer of things in the physical world than I am, so he often calls them to my attention. Sometimes he throws a question out there into the universe and sits back, confident that the signs will show themselves. With chilling frequency, they do.

Some would argue coincidence and selective perception. Some would argue there are no coincidences. Some would argue that selective perception is a part of the process. Some would argue that we manifest these signs via our subconscious, in the manner of a dream, in order to facilitate our destinies. Some would argue that I'm a looneybird and don't know of what I speak. Some would argue that I'm being gratuitously repetitive. All have an equal chance of being right. And wrong.

This morning, upon submitting a comment to a friend's blog, I mistyped a CAPTCHA and was presented with a second one. I'm telling you right now, I did not mistype that first CAPTCHA. It was a simple one and I'm a reasonably good typist. I get a CAPTCHA wrong maybe once a year. The second CAPTCHA was "undennis". Dennis, of course, is my husband's name. What could this possibly mean? I know it doesn't mean to rid myself of Dennis as he is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. So what is it?

• United Nations Dennis? Is he being diplomatic?


• Am I being or to be faced with the opposite of Dennis, as in 7-UP being "the un-cola"?


• Is the universe reminding me to think of him instead of leaving blog comments?


• A Google search for "undennis" netted me one WOW Character profile of the same name, and a  member of the same name in, I kid you not, a gaming community called, wait for it... "The Spreading Taint". Do these people hold the answer to the riddles of the universe? Do they need my help?


• Or was the "undennis" thing merely a red herring meant to draw my attention to the real message just below it: "Choose an identity"?

Universe, what does it all mean?!?

Facebook Dislike Button

Apparently our good friends at Mashable were aware of this over a month ago, but I just found out about it today so I'm sharing it with you. There is a "Facebook Dislike" Add-on for Firefox! Apprisal: Your Facebook friends must also have the Add-on installed in order to participate and view your dislikes.

I know my friends have been itching for one for months now, so I'm spreading the word in hopes that we can all have a little (good-natured!) fun with it. :D Enjoy!

[ETA by "disliking" the dislike button in my screen shot , I was only testing the feature to display how it will appear upon employment. I did not mean to indicate actual dislike, disgust, or general apathy of any kind.]

A Puppy, Not a Guppy Virtual Book Tour & Contest!

When my friend Holly Jahangiri asked me if I would like to participate in her virtual book tour for A Puppy, Not a Guppy, I pounced on the opportunity. I knew that any product of Holly's pen would be sassy and well-written, with a dash of the unexpected. I was one of the first to get in line and pre-order a copy for my children. Holly was kind enough to provide me with a review copy so that I may prepare for her book tour. She's organized and practical like that.

About A Puppy, Not a Guppy:

Author: Holly Jahangiri
Illustrator: Ryan Shaw
Book Trailer: A Puppy, Not a Guppy trailer by Mandy Hedrick

Synapsis from the publisher:

Irma wanted a puppy, a pet she could take on walks, not a few stupid guppies. Fish didn't do anything, except roll over on their backs if they die.

Sometimes, though, a girl has to make the most of what she has. Now, what can Irma do with three guppies besides stare at them as they stare at her?

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My Review

Warning: This "ain't no" princess book! A Puppy, Not a Guppy is a delightful yarn that will appeal to both girls and boys alike. I'm not a child psychologist (shocking, I know) but it seems to me that after reading this book children will remember the protagonist Irma's positive example of:

• Coping skills


• Determination


• Imagination


• Kindness towards the underdog


• Mastering a challenge


• Scientific curiosity & experimentation

Irma is a lot like I was as a child. Admittedly, I liked my Barbie dolls. And Ken. And Skipper. And my dollhouse and Barbie Corvette and... you get the picture. But I also liked to hang out by the ditch near our local park and collect tadpoles, knowing that soon they would magically sprout little legs and begin to hop around our garage. The ones that managed to escape the wheels of my dad's Vega hopped their green selves right out the garage door towards a life of adventure, perhaps eventually making their way back home to the ditch. I like to think that they did. But I digress...

It's all about balance. There's nothing wrong with allowing your daughter to devour Cinderella, and there's everything right with buying her books like A Puppy, Not a Guppy that are certain to stoke her natural interest in science and nature.

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Where to Buy

(Recommended for ages 8-12)

Directly from 4RV Publishing (At post publication $8.99 + S&H)

From Amazon.com (At post publication $10.99 + elegibile for free super saver shipping on orders over $25)

From Barnes and Noble.com (At post publication $7.91 Member Price + S&H)

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The Contest

I am happy to announce that Holly's A Puppy, Not a Guppy contest! Good luck! Here are the details, as provided by the author:

Prizes (two will be awarded): A signed copy of A Puppy, Not a Guppy


To enter, leave a comment at http://jahangiri.us/books containing verifiable evidence that you have completed one or more of the following activities:

• A link back to http://heatherkephart.com


• A short review of http://jahangiri.us/books on Alexa.com (http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/http://jahangiri.us/books)


• A question for one of the characters in Trockle or A Puppy, Not a Guppy


• A question for the author, Holly Jahangiri


• Answer to the question: What kind of pet do you like best, and why?


• Either of the following:
  
  
  
  • Blog about A Puppy, Not a Guppy (be sure to include, in your own blog post, a link back to http://jahangiri.us/books and a link to this blog; or
  
  
  • If you already own a copy of Trockle or A Puppy, Not a Guppy, you may complete this activity by posting a new review of either book on BarnesandNoble.com or Amazon.com. (NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Previously posted book reviews are not eligible as contest entries in this contest.)
  
  
  
  

Each activity equals one ( 1 ) entry, and you may do each activity once for a possible maximum of six ( 6 ) entries per valid email address. Your comment must be entered using a valid email address so that you can be contacted for mailing info if you win! Entries that do not have a valid email address will be considered null and void.

Duration: Contest begins at 12:01 AM on December 9, 2009 and ends at 11:59 on December 15, 2009. Winners will be drawn on December 16, 2009.

Eligibility: Contest is open to anyone age 13 or older. Tour hosts are eligible to enter.

Winners: Two winners will be randomly chosen (numbered in the order in which they are received, with the winning number chosen at http://www.random.org/ ) from all qualifying entries, and will be required to provide a physical mailing address in order to collect a prize (one free book). Only one entrant per household is eligible to win. If a second entrant from a single household is chosen, another name will be drawn until all prizes are awarded.

Contest void where prohibited by law.

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BOOK TOUR SCHEDULE:

Tuesday, December 8:

Vivian Gilbert Zabel, author and founder of 4RV Publishing,
kicks off the tour with a special surprise guest at Brain Cells & Bubble Wrap
http://vivianzabel.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, December 9:

Lynne, Brendan, and Katherine at Life is But a Dream
http://suenogrande.blogspot.com

Roy de la Cruz at The Struggling Blogger dot Com
http://thestrugglingblogger.com/

Thursday, December 10:

Lynne, Brendan, and Katherine at Life is But a Dream
http://suenogrande.blogspot.com

Friday, December 11:

Lynne, Brendan, and Katherine at Life is But a Dream
http://suenogrande.blogspot.com

Saturday, December 12:

Heather Kephart at HappyMaking
http://heatherkephart.com/

Rey Rombawa Jr at reyjr.com – Born on a Syzygy
http://reyjr.com

Sunday, December 13:

Dr. Dean Pomerleau @ Fish School Blog
http://blog.fish-school.com/

Beverly  Stowe McClure at The Story of a Writer
http://beverlystowemcclure.blogspot.com

Monday, December 14:

Lisa Munley at Books on the Brain
http://lisamm.wordpress.com/

Tuesday, December 15:

Jena Isle at Jena Isle's Random Thoughts
http://www.jenaisleonline.com

Susan and Noah Thompson at SusanSmithThompson.com
http://SusanSmithThompson.com

Wednesday, December 16:

Tour Wrap-up at Imaginary Friends and It’s All a Matter of Perspective
http://jahangiri.us/books/

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Interview: DiTesco of iBlogZone

I done stalked and trapped me my second interview victim! Drum roll, please... it's DiTesco of iBlogZone! DiTesco, thanks for the fabulous interview. It was a ton of fun for me. You are a joy and a pleasure. I should probably release you from under my golf cart now.... nah.


Heather: I have to know. From where did the name DiTesco come? How should your readers address you?

DiTesco: This is amazing, haha. After a little over one year of blogging, you are the very first person that actually asked me that. I would never have imagined. Anyway, DiTesco comes from the Latin word that means "To Be Rich", lol. I came up with this alias at the time I started to blog. Why? Not really sure, but there is this thing about me and Latin words. Take my consulting company, it is called Arcanus, which is also Latin and means "Secret Society". By secret, I don't mean dubious or anything like that, just the fact that I am a consultant and I keep all my clients information confidential, hence secret. How should people address me? Francisco (my real name), Frankie (my nick) and of course DiTesco. I'm good with anyone of them.

I like Latin words as well. They exude poetry, mystery and power. You are a consultant? What are your services and to whom do you offer them?

Yes, I am a Management Consultant. I offer my services to small and medium size companies that require assistance in several areas. These include but not limited to, Company Incorporation, Mergers & Acquisitions, Financing, Business Plan Preparations, Special Audits (Internal Control & Fraud), CRM, etc. My business is mainly concentrated to local companies. I do have some clients from Russia, Bulgaria and Cyprus. Most of them are off-shore companies that are particularly interested in investing in Real Estate and Fund Management.

Wow, I had no idea! When you say local companies do you mean Portuguese companies? What is the best way for interested parties to contact you regarding your Management Consulting services?

Yes. Local means Portuguese companies. And as for contacting me for consulting services, anyone could send me a direct email at fperez at grupo-arcanus dot com. Ironically, I never did put the time to set up a website for my company. I fortunately never needed one. All my marketing activities are by sending direct emails to potential clients and word of mouth. You see, before I decided to go "solum" (solo), I had another company called "Inter Alia" (among other things). This company provided accounting services and I used the existing client base to leverage this for Arcanus. I later closed this company. Another thing worth mentioning is that I occupied several executive positions before. I was Chief Operating Officer of AIG (American International Group - Life Division), General Manger Of Sensormatic, Chief Financial Officer of Banesto Insurance, etc. I met many great people and now I work with them:)

Well I'll be a monkey's aunt! Who knew? I just assumed you came into being via Twitter and manifested your DiTesconess and SEO brilliance through iBlogZone.com. It seems as though you've got a wealth of business experience under your belt. (How do you say knock me over with a feather in Portuguese?) Did you first experience the internet as a business application, or as a personal one?

Thanks for the compliment:) As far as the internet is concerned, I really do not remember, but I am betting that it was for Business purposes. My blog, on the other hand, did start as a personal/business adventure. I did not want it to be purely personal so I tried to find a way to balance it with business. Bingo, online business by sharing my personal experience and opinion. This is obviously easier said than done. At inception everything was really a mess, and after way too much of trial and errors, I finally settled with iBlogZone.

There were two things that I had in mind when I took my first steps to blogging. First, was more of a personal challenge. I wanted to know and prove to myself that it was possible to make a difference and succeed online. Second, and this really did not take long to decide, was how to achieve the first goal:) I did what I constantly say in most of the ideas I share with my readers, that is, I acted on every single thing I learned. As with my offline experience, I had mentors which were kind enough to take the time to share their wisdom, and online was no exception. Countless people are out there that are willing to help. You just have to find them:)

I agree, DiTesco. We hear so much about the creeps and cretins in cyberspace, but not so much about all of the fabulous, helpful people just waiting for us to engage them. You strike me as a driven person. Like once you get your eye on the prize you are off like a racehorse and don't stop until you cross the finish line. What would you say drives you to succeed?

What drives me most is that wonderful feeling that in a way I am able to help people that I do not even know or met it my life. Receiving their feedback through their thoughtful comments gives me the sensation that I am not alone and that there is someone actually reading what I have to say. That feeling of having accomplished something no matter how big or small it is, is just awesome, as I truly believe that "every bit counts". All in all, this translates into gaining a reputation and credibility. After that, everything else just comes in naturally. That's what success means to me:)

What do you think sets you apart in the world of reputation and credibility? Is there more to it than simple consistency?

Although I would like to think that I had built a pretty good reputation and credibility, things is, I really do not know. However, there are some signs that will lead someone to believe that his/her word matters. For example, I always made it a point to recommend only things that will actually provide value for my visitors. If you have noticed, on every blog post I have, you will rarely see an affiliate link. Why? Because I do not want people to think that all I'm doing is to lure them to buy something from me. Sure I've got ads, but that is a given:) I rather make money online from advertisers and not from my readers.

Let me give an example. There was this guy who bought a hosting package once and I told him that it was a pity that he did not buy it from my affiliate link. His answer was, where is the link, haha. How silly of me. Next day he sent me an email asking me if I have an affiliate link for a theme he wanted to buy. I told him Yes, and he bought it from me, without me asking. Now, this is something that you do not achieve out of sheer consistency.

Another example. I have this new found friend, where we started completely on the wrong foot (she bullied me at first sight, haha). We had a small confrontation and then she told me that getting to know someone is a learning curve. I respected that and we built our relationship based on interaction, exchanging ideas, sharing our thoughts, respecting each other and countless other things. Today, she has sealed that trust and credibility with me. Now, I am betting that as soon as she reads this, she will know who I am talking about, yay...


Well let's hope she reads this interview! I've got three regular readers, you, my husband Dennis and my Mom - so if you aren't talking about my Mom we're sunk. ;-) Have you ever been moved by a piece of art in such a way that it altered or enhanced your philosophy of life?

Nope. Can't say I have. Don't get me wrong though. I like art but, but merely for appreciation. It never really moved me that much. Now, I have these two cute little young devils, whom I can say are a work of art. Those guys did change my way of life. Oh well, they totally deserve it. I am a "drooling" Dad, what can I say, LOL.

Aww, you are a Daddy? How old are your kids? And are we talking human or are you a doggy Daddy?

Actually both, lol. I am both human and a doggy Daddy. My eldest is 13 (the intellectual) and youngest is 10 (the terrorist). As for the four legged companions, one German Shepherd and a Cocker Spaniel. They all get along just fine, hehe

Sounds like your home is filled with lots of noise and madness and fun! Do you and your boys listen to the same kind of music? How about the dogs? ;-)

I would like it to be that way, but unfortunately I only get to see me kids during the weekends. They live with their mom and it is about a 300 KM drive. In a way, it is good, because we spend quality time during 48 hours (almost non-stop), hehe. Fortunately we share pretty much the same taste as it comes, to eating at McDonalds, playing bowling, video games, golf and yeah, we all go nuts listening to the same kind of music when in my car. Basically R&B, Hip-Hop, POP, you know, what else could it be:)

The dogs do live with me. Angel, my German Shepherd sings (maybe howls), every time my mobile rings. She thinks that she is a serious contender to Beyonce or something because she will do this until the ringing stops. They do drive me crazy.

What else could it be? GOOD music, for starters. Alternative Rock, Blues, Classic Rock. *sigh* DiTesco, DiTesco, DiTesco... I will forgive you for this. I always thought it would be so hard to be separated from one's children so I am sorry for that, but it sounds like the three of you (or five of you?) make the most of your time together and that there is no shortage of love. Are you a good bowler or a gutter baller like myself? And what do you order at McDonalds? I get the southern chicken sandwich or small cheeseburgers with those fabulous dehydrated onions. Yum!

Thanks (for forgiving me), hehe. Those type of music, I like too, but my kids prefer the "cool" ones as they say. Well on weekends, that will be the three of us only and that is quality time. Believe me, I have friends that are so busy, they leave home before the kids do and come back when the kids are already sleeping. Then on weekends they do things that they did not do during the week, so it you account for hours, I get to spend more time with my kids than most do.

Am I a good bowler? How does an average of 98 sound to you. That of course includes me going all the way down the lane and kicking some pins with my foot:) Kids are OK, for their level.

We vary every time we go there, so we do not get tired of it. Big Macs, 1/4 pounder, nuggets (love those babies) and anything else hamburger. The choices in Portugal are different from that of the US.


I don't know if 98 is good or bad, to be honest! But I like the image of you kicking the pins with your foot. I'll bet your sons enjoy that spectacle as well. I'm not at all familiar with Portuguese food. What is a sample breakfast, lunch and dinner? DiTesco style, of course.

My kids say that it is cheating:) Anyway, moving on. I like to stay fit, so bacon and sausages for breakfast, a nice pasta for lunch and a fried chicken for dinner with a lot of french fries, haha - just kidding. Really, Balut for breakfast, I skip lunch and eat tripes for dinner, ewww, kidding again. Seriously? No breakfast, just yogurt and coffee, very light lunch, usually a sandwich and I'll abuse a little during dinner with a variety of things, nothing fancy or anything in particular.

You totally had me there with the balut thing! Seriously, you sound so... normal. I pictured you living on a diet of Red Bull and fancy Portuguese power bars. On that note, what is your favorite vice?

Yeah. Depending on what the definition of normal is, I'm as normal as they can be, LOL. Vice? Complicated, too many bad habits, some of which I prefer not to disclose:) You know, its a male thing, hehe. Anyway, one thing that I must do every single day is my 30 minutes workout, right after the "bacon and sausages":) If I don't do it, I will get grumpy the whole day. It has been one of those things "I can not live without" daily routine. On weekends, my vice are the kids. Nothing else.. BTW, Red Bull "on the rocks" is mind boggling:)

Oh, what a cop-out! I ask you about vices and you give me workouts and spending time with the kids? That's okay, now we are all picturing something ten times worse than your vice probably is. Heh. :) What is your Twitter philosophy and game plan?

OK. Let the "vices" be a product of imagination:)

Moving on. I really don't have a game plan, per say, but my philosophy on using Twitter (on my main account) is to build relationships, interact with people who have the same interest as me and also use it as a promotional tool. By promotional tool, I mean using Twitter as a means to share interesting articles, blog posts, News, and anything else that to help the online community. As an example, a mutual friend of ours, Holly, has began Irma's tour and that it something I am Retweeting and promoting as much as possible.

I also use Twitter to promote my online business and other bonafide services or products from third parties. Although I do this, I have set up different and special accounts just for this purpose.

That makes sense. I know you also participate in BlogEngage, and Mahalo, and other social networking sites. With so many available, what is your criteria for picking and choosing the ones you will devote your precious time to, and how do you manage that time?

One of the criteria I use for picking social sites are those that I believe will bring value to me and the community as a whole. My favorite is BlogCatalog. It is a great community of bloggers and I had the advantage of being able to form a group that has now over 2000 members. My approach to a social network is not being in all of them, but rather, one that you can stand out. This is only possible if at the beginning you put the necessary effort. I was very active on BlogCatalog and today I require very little time to manage my group and interact.

As far as the others are concerned, I take the advantage of the "technology" that links many of my activities. For example, if I have a new post, it will show on FriendFeed, FaceBook, Technorati, Twitter, BlogCatalog and at a click of a button (Onlywire), it gets distributed to the major Social Bookmarking sites. No time warranted here:) I interact with my friends on Twitter, and an awesome group of bloggers (P50) of which I am a proud member of in Google Groups.

I like what you said about "not being in all of them, but rather, one that you can stand out". That makes a lot of sense. Also, I've heard of those P50 bloggers - a rogue group of internet bandits in Halloween costumes, I think. Or something of that nature. What is on the horizon for you, DiTesco? What are your plans for the coming year?

Yeah, the P50. It is a bunch of bloggers with different backgrounds, experiences and topics, all united to help each other out. A bloggers alliance that actually works and manageable due to its size and a cool and awesome way to really build long lasting relationship. I love being a part of it.

Plans for 2010? So many... Online, I would pretty much continue with what I have been doing since inception and that is to further build relationships, provide as much useful information for my loyal readers to build their online businesses, solidify my blogging network and hopefully find a way to consolidate them all. All in all, I am managing about 15 active blogs and and 30 domains.

Offline. I would really like to find a buyer for my SPA business. I am tired of it and I think it is the right moment to pass it onwards. With this, I will have more time available and will most likely spend it with my kids. They are now in need of more fatherly guidance:)

That sounds like a great plan. Do you celebrate Christmas? If so, what is your favorite tradition?

Yes I celebrate Christmas? My favorite tradition is what we (my family) calls the "secret friend". Every year all members of my family gather in Rio de Janeiro - Brazil. About a week before my dad writes the name of each of us in several pieces of paper. Then each one of us will pick a paper and whoever name is written will be our secret friend. We can not say anyone about it and we have to buy a special gift for that secret friend. No one will ever know who is the secret friend and that is where the fun begins. Theoretically no one know but at the end of the day, every one will know. It will depends on each ones ability to figure it out, LOL.

That sounds like fun! Economical, as well. I'm sure you figure out who your gifter is by the end of the day. :) Wow, Brazil. I've never been. Is your family from Brazil, or do you just enjoy spending time there?

With the exception of my biological mother all family lives in Brazil. My dad, stepmother, two brothers and a bunch of hoodlum nephews, hehe. Plus I also enjoy spending time there, particularly this season when its summer there and winter here. I hate the cold weather.

You are a lucky man, DiTesco. I'll let you off the hook now, with one parting question. Outside of reading iBlogZone, what simple advice would you give to new and up-and-coming bloggers who wish to attract a readership and position themselves for good SEO?

You are letting me off the hook? What a pity, I was enjoying this short interview myself and have to admit that this is the first time I ever had this unique opportunity. Thanks.

For the advice. Determine upfront what your blog is going to be (yes, you need a plan), i.e, topic or niche, especially if you are thinking on building a small online business. If you are thinking of blogging just for fun, do not worry to much about SEO and those kind of things. Build your readership by interacting, socializing and respecting other people's views and opinions. If it is a small business you are looking for, aside from determining your niche upfront, provide good content and value for your potential audience. Learn the ropes on basic html, internet marketing, and SEO. And finally, TAKE ACTION. Act upon everything you learn and put it in motion. There is much information out there that teaches you how to do things. Everything else is up to you. Good luck.

Contact Information for DiTesco
Blog: iBlogZone
Twitter: @ditesco

Goodyear Great Songs of Christmas

Am I the only one who is nutty about the old Goodyear Tire & Rubber Great Songs of Christmas albums from the 1960's? Volume 6, pictured below, is a favorite of mine from my childhood. I found it on eBay and snapped it up like a doughnut-shaped chocolate morsel. I like some of the new "classics" as well, like "All I Want For Christmas is You" by Mariah Carey, "Christmas Wrapping" by The Waitresses, U2's "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" and "Last Christmas" by Wham!, but the older ones invade my physical senses and transport me back to the time when Christmas was achingly magical and special.



I took this photo of Goodyear Great Songs of Christmas Volume 6 (1966) back in 2005. (Can you believe that was almost five years ago? Nuts.) Here's the song list. My favorite Christmas song, "O Holy Night" is not represented here, but there are some goodies. Is it just me, or is it not Christmas without The Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Babs, a nice Jewish lady, singing "Ave Maria"?

01 Barbra Streisand - Silent Night

02 Andy Williams - Do You Hear What I Hear?

03 Johnny Mathis - The Christmas Song

04 The King Family - The Holiday of Love/Caroling, Caroling

05 Pablo Casals - Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring

06 The King Family - O Little Town of Bethlehem/It Came Upon A Midnight Clear

07 Jan Peerce - O Come All Ye Faithful

08 Barbra Streisand - Ave Maria (Bach-Gounod)

09 Ray Conniff - Frosty the Snowman 10 New Christy Minstrels - We Need A Little Christmas

11 Steve Lawrence - Let It Snow

12 Ray Conniff - Hark, the Herald Angels Sing

13 Jan Peerce - Noel Nouvelet

14 Mormon Tabernacle Choir - March of the Kings

15 Mormon Tabernacle Choir - Deck the Hall

16 Bing Crosby - White World of Winter

17 New Christy Minstrels - Il Est Ne

18 Mormon Tabernacle Choir - Still, Still, Still

19 Mahalia Jackson - Away In A Manger

20 Ray Conniff - We Wish You A Merry Christmas

Edited to add:

For Jena: (No time is the wrong time to fall on your knees and hear the Angel voices.) :)

That goat'll hunt!

Image by BalRutilant via Flickr

I'm going to be extremely busy and scarce for the next month or so. The move to Texas and Christmas duties are kicking my butt. Plus, Joe needs all the hands-on reassurance and attention I can provide right now. Lily, on the other hand, is blissfully unaware of any impending changes and just wants food. Lots of it. Chip off the old block.

Feel free not to comment on my blog during that time because I won't be making my usual rounds in order to return the favor until our family is safely ensconced in Texas. From time to time I'll be providing you with photo commentaries like the one up above so that my blog doesn't fall off of the face of the earth.

Stare at the goat butt. Think about goat butt. Think about life.

Love,

Heather

Dallas by Happy Hour!

Image by Ginas Pics via Flickr

Dennis, Lilypooh and I will be flying to Dallas today in search of a home, and will be returning to Southern California on Sunday evening. We're not actually making the move until January 5th or so of 2010, but we recently realized that in order to accomplish the relocation we must first procure a place to live. My Mom and Stepson Brian will be entertaining, hugging and keeping an eye on Joe Joe while we are gone. We would have loved to have taken him with us, but couldn't justify forking out the bread for an extra ticket seeing as how we're going to be returning for good in a month. This bums me out immensely because he would really have enjoyed the plane ride, among other things.

Boy, will  I miss my boo boo bottom. He dragged his suitcase into the family room about an hour ago and it nearly broke my heart. I'm being honest with him as he responds well to logic, but still... we've never been apart this long. Even when I spent two nights in the hospital after Lily as born he came to visit the next day.

I just went searching for a photo of Joe's visit to the hospital and found this...



It seems as though Joe's fascination with maxi pads was not recently born!

Here it is... this picture haunts me. I think of it on a near-daily basis. Joe looks so sad and unsure of himself. The poor thing was only 18 months old when Lily was born, one month older than Lily is now! His world changed so much that day. Sure, he gained much more than he lost but still...



Why am I doing this to myself? Where did this come from! Deep breath. Moving on...

The two hour time difference is going to be a bit of a nasty witch in the morning, as we will be meeting a realtor at nine, but we're used to getting up early a'la Joe Joe's penchance for turning on all of the lights in the house at 5:20 am. Lily's always up for an adventure these days, so I'm expecting good things from her. I'm hoping to hide her underneath my hooter hider on the plane and that she'll fall asleep after a quick nip since the flight takes off right at her regular naptime of noon. I packed little bags of snacks and toys to divert her attention (thanks for the plane tip, Gina!) should she start winding up to a meltdown. Dang, I should have done the same for Dennis.

I'll miss you all. Have a fun weekend!

Wow I've Been Busy by Joe Joe

Hello again! Lots of things have happened since my last post! :woot:

[caption id="attachment_1919" align="alignnone" width="225" caption="Last week I saw a hot air balloon come towards our house from a far away mountain!"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1920" align="alignnone" width="225" caption="It flew right over our house and the people inside waved hello to me!"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1921" align="alignnone" width="225" caption="It headed around the corner - where is it going?!?"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1922" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="It landed in a future park site just down the road. I told Grandma I wanted to go and get my butterfly net to catch it!"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1923" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Lily got all muddy in the back yard that day and Mommy tried to get all fancy and make the picture black and white."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1924" align="alignnone" width="199" caption="Daddy was watching a program about The Beatles and Lily fell in love with Paul McCartney. "][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1925" align="alignnone" width="200" caption="My Godmother Gina and Godsister Rachel sent a Thanksgiving treat to Lily and me, pudding cups and mixes galore, and creature paper plates! Thank you Gina and Rachel! We love you!"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1927" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Lily had fun stacking the pudding cups she ripped out of my hand."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1928" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Lily is proud of her accomplishment!"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1929" align="alignnone" width="225" caption="The tiger plate was one of my favorites. That and the beaver plate!"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1930" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Daddy pretended he was a tiger. I think he fooled Lily. Brian thought it was funny."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1931" align="alignnone" width="225" caption="I just wanted to put another picture of me in here with my fancy necklace."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1932" align="alignnone" width="200" caption="Lily thought it was fun to crawl into Godmother Gina's UPS box."][/caption]

Then the other day I woke up really early and found Mom's camera again. I can't believe she keeps forgetting to put it away at night.

[caption id="attachment_1933" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="I like this chest."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1934" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="I like the way my foot looks on the rug."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1935" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="I like the way my foot looks on the inexcusably dirty tile floor in the kitchen."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1936" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="I like my Elmo chair and my huge, messy stack of toys that Mom's always organizing only to discover that I've messed up her piles yet again."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1937" align="alignnone" width="225" caption="I like my leg, too."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1938" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="This picture scares Mom. She thinks it looks like a butt."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1939" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="I am first and foremost an artist. I kind of like this one."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1940" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="My big brother Dennis turned 18 on Saturday!!! We took him to Red Robin and I crawled on his and everybody else's heads for an entire hour!"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1941" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Dad, Brian, Dennie and me at Red Robin. Mom put down her huge glass of beer long enough to take the photo."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1943" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Then she picked it back up again."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1944" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="My big brother Brian held me while I looked for dropped food under the table."][/caption]

That's it for now. :D