Older age and its impending lessening of relevance has freed me from the burden of racing with the rats, and of pleasing the common man. I wish I'd let go of other people's notions of perfection in my twenties. I regret my focus on the moment rather than on what I might accomplish if I stood still long enough to let my inner voice flood into my consciousness and propel me.
Tomorrow I shall awaken and trumpet in forty. I am ready to aim for higher goals and to entertain more foolish impulses. The lines on my face won't seem as deep, my thinner skin not as tragic.
A pleasant appearance is not always good for one's character.
That said, it's high time for my self-saboteur to stop uglying me up as punishment for wasting my youth and as defense against my tendency to make bad decisions.
I am strong enough to live among you without a cushion of fat to protect me.
I can be pretty and not hurt those that I love.
My voice carries a weight of its own.
My vision is not flawed.
Tonight I will cast my parasitic notions toward the fire and incinerate them into obscurity, then stoke their cinders until they blaze forth into faith and possibility.
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Happy birthday Heather! I don't think I was ever even happy until I turned 40. You've got a fabulous life ahead of you!
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the 40 club! 40 is the new 20 so I'm told. Happy Birthday to you. Celebrate your special day, celebrate all you have learned and the choices you are able to make. Your an awesome lady! Cheers to you!
ReplyDeleteI guess that means it's your Birthday - hope it's a good one.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to my decade! Come on in, the water's tepid!
ReplyDeleteHAPPY BIRTHDAY!! :)
Amen to that! Hope you have a wonderful birthday!! The 40's are totally rockin!!
ReplyDeleteOooops, that was me above. Forgot to type in my name!
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the 40s! They're FANTASTIC. You won't be disappointed.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the 40's and Happy Birthday. I just turned 40 this year too. I know it is hard to adjust, but you do adjust.
ReplyDeleteHeather, this was so powerful. I'm all teared up, YOU! It's truly eloquent, and I wish I'd written it. You have a jaw-dropping talent... and I'm so happy that you're discovering and nurturing it.
ReplyDeleteHappy 40th! Here's to our newly won rights: 1.) To run around town without makeup on, without fear or apology; 2.) To do the things that feed our souls, without guilt; and 3.) To torture our younger friends and family with endless stories beginning with the words, "Well, back when I was (fill in the blank)..."
I'll be toasting you tomorrow. xo
Lea, what a wonnderful birthday gift you give me with that kind and generous comment.Thank you. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm going to practice all three of your rights of forty - TODAY! xo
Thank you, Rose! Love the name Rose, and insisted it be part of my daughter's.
ReplyDeleteThank you Holly Wolly Bing Bang! I'm already loving them.
ReplyDeleteThank you Helene! I know, this JS-Kit commenting system is a bit of a pain, but I love the email notification feature. THANK YOU!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou're in your forties too? That's it, I'm excited. Most of the oool people are 40 and above.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mary! It will be no matter what.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Karen! I feel 1,000 times better psyche wise than I did at twenty. Can't wait to see what's ahead!
ReplyDeleteHi Margo, thanks! Love "I don't think I was ever even happy until I turned 40". Not becasue you weren't happy until you turned 40, but because you are now. :)
ReplyDeleteMore and more of my friends are turning 40... and really celebrating/embracing it. Very different from my mother's generation where 40 over considered over the hill.
ReplyDeleteAhhh, life now starts for a beautiful woman named Heather Kephart. Were the trumpets blingingly, deafeningly wonderful that morning??
ReplyDelete-- Jannie-Wannie Bong-Bing. xoxoox
I thought that you might enjoy this post http://www.isdisnormal.com/2009/06/29/loving-forties/, or perhaps it will plunge you into depression which is certainly not my intention.
ReplyDeleteHappy late birthday!
Hi, Robyn! Thanks! I know, we are lucky. My Mom told me, "This is a good time to be turning forty" and she's right!
ReplyDeleteYes there were, Jannie and thank you you beautiful and talented glowstick!
ReplyDeleteThank you Jillian! I LOVED your "Loving Forties" post. Thank you so much for takinig the time to share it with me. It did NOT plunge me into depression, lol.
ReplyDeleteI'm starting to see things the way you see them, and it's so wonderful. I can't wait until I can get past the regret the wasted time stage and move on to the fully embracing with passionate abandon stage. :)
I am having a love affair with your blog; I discovered it through Jilian's blog over at Is Dis Normal? Happy birthday (belated, of course... lately I'm always five minutes or five days late for everything!)!!
ReplyDeleteI loved your hair coloring post, too, although it made me incredibly glad to have naturally brown hair that only saw highlights once in its youth when I thought, "Hmm, highlights might be cool!" They weren't, so that was the end of that craze.
Can't wait to see what's next!
Hi Megan, WOW thanks so much for your kind and enthusiastic comment and birthday wish! I recently discovered Jillian, she really is a gem.
ReplyDeleteI've been messing with my hair since I was yanked into puberty. I used to pour hydrogen peroxide on it. Gah! Why? I must like to punish myself. I'd go with brown but the speckles of gray make me look like an owl.