Tonight one thing led to another and Joe found himself in a two minute time out. After I sprung him, having been unsuccessful in my attempt to procure an apology, I capped things off with a fruitless round of reasoning.
Me: Some things are for sharing, but some things are not for sharing. Mommy's writing things...
Dennis: ...and Mommy's sex drawer.
Me:
(Background: Last week Joe found something he was never meant to and ran around the house with it as I stood transfixed and horrified.)Dennis (casually washing a plate now): Is that what that song is about? Sex Drawer?
Me: Do you mean Sex Dwarf?
Dennis: Yeah. *snicker*
Me: Did you know it was called Sex Dwarf, or did you really think it was called Sex Drawer?
Dennis: It's great when your wife thinks you're so stupid that you think Sex Dwarf is called Sex Drawer. *rolls eyes so far back into his head they never quite returned all the way*
Me: Well, how would you know that song? You weren't a mod. You didn't go out dancing. That song is from my day.
Dennis: No it isn't. It's from the seventies. For a period of time they played it all the time. How does it go?
Me: Something, something, and the dumb chauffeur.
Dennis: Isn't it nice? Luring disco dollies to a life of vice?
Me: Yeah, that's it.
Now I can't get the song out of my head. What was it called again?
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Wait til Grandma is over one day and Joe comes running out with those things and yells SEX DRAWER! Then you'll really be in trouble.
ReplyDeleteWe lock the door on the bedroom now because otherwise we've ended up with an audience =-O
Is it sad that I don't even know what song you're referring to??? Oh and you should know that once you have kids, the sex toys can't stay in the dresser drawers anymore. We keep our "stuff" in a duffel bag that has a lock on it in the back of the closet. Now that I think about it, that's probably why we never even use the stuff anymore. Too much of a PITA to bother to get out!!
ReplyDeleteBut then again we did forget to lock the bedroom door recently....that was interesting, to say the least.
I know, I KNOW. We're so used to saying what we want around him when we should not be. He soaks up everything!
ReplyDeleteAnd re: an audience, I don't know if you're referring to a child or a Grandma but in either case you have my sincere condolences lol
Helene, in my defense I do have a child-proof lock on that drawer. Cleeeearly it does not work, however. I like your duffel bag idea. But you're right, it would probably be too much of a PITA to get to it. I'm starting to wonder if sex stuff is like a loaded gun. If it's not there at the moment you need it, it's virtually useless.
ReplyDeleteI can't belive you got walked in on as well as Mel! Yikes! I'm soooo sorry.
Brilliant. Thanks for the reminder - I had almost forgotten why I don't have kids. ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Nigel! But don't you mean puppies? I think the world would be better off with some Nigel puppies running around.
ReplyDeleteYou nut. ;-)
ReplyDeleteHere's a video of Soft Cell doing it live. I just found out that Nine Inch Nails did a cover, but the quality is poor. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlB77vM2FMg