How to Have Fun on Facebook

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

Please note this article is not entitled "How to Have Fun on Facebook and Still Look Professional". I am presently a stay at home Mom and as such I am allowing myself certain liberties on Facebook with regards to "being myself" that I would not necessarily afford myself if I were gainfully employed out in the big bad world and under the thumb and visual scrutiny of a supercontglomerate megaemployer.

1. Pretend that nobody is reading what you type except for your best friend, be your best friend your spouse, a monkey or something otherwise dispicable like a Lakers fan.
   
   • If you actually think about who is on your friends list you may very well freeze up out of anxiety and never type a word onto your wall at all. This is not fun. This is fear. Nobody is there, they're not really there and even if they are really there pretend they have better things to do than keep tabs on you so you are free to play.
     
     
2. Comment on your friends' wall posts.
   
   • Yes, that's right. I'm telling you to interact. (Noooooo!) It may feel weird the first time you do it, but you'll get over that soon enough. Don't take the fact that only 2% of people actually reciprocate or respond to your interactions personally. I've found that most aren't ignoring you out of spite, secret simmering hatred or a lack of tact. They simply don't know what to say that will make them not look like a fool or give a bad impression. Most people usually come around and start interacting with you using teeny tiny hesitant little baby steps after a while. If they don't, simply move on.
     
     My Golden Ratio of Facebook Interactions on your part in order to elicit a response is 4.53 to 1. Memorize it. Live by it. Respect the ratio!
     
     
3. Post old pictures.
   
   • Proceed with caution here. This area is a hotbed of potential drama. To be reasonably safe, start with pictures of yourself. Then, if anyone responds positively with a comment such as, "Ah yes, I remember those days. You were such a big dork it was all I could do to talk to you if another person was watching. But you're not as big of a dork now so it's cool", take that as an invitation to post an old photo of them. But be kind. There are rules involved in old friend photo posting:
   1. Do not post a photo of her at 15 with a Lowenbrau in one hand and a big bong balanced on her head.
   2. Do not post a photo of her with any old boyfriends. Ever. The dynamics of old relationships are complicated and the memory may spark her to freak out and start eating gallon after gallon of ice cream. Or maybe she is married now and simply doesn't want to go there. Even if she asks you to post a photo of her with an old boyfriend she doesn't really mean it. If you give in she will be filled with a potent mix of wistfulness and guilt or self-consciousness that she will forever associate with you. Just don't do it. Have some self-restraint. You can't un-post a photo. Well you can, but it's kind of like un-saying harsh words. Once they're out there in the universe they are doomed to linger through all eternity.
   3. Nudity is a no-no. Even web cam nudity. What? Yes, it counts as real nudity.
      
      
4. Take risks. Send friend requests to people you never really knew that well but wished you did or would like to now.
   
   • This can be incredibly invigorating, empowering and/or healing. Chances are that these people will respond favorably. Once your preconcieved notions are suitably slayed thus is snuffed another demon you never knew you had. You might even make another new friend. For real. Even if there isn't much interaction there, it's always nice to form a thought bubble around yourself that includes all the pieces and thus all the potential and possibilities Facebook can afford you.
     
     
5. Put your pride aside.
   
   • Fun and pride don't mix. I'm not suggesting that you purposely set yourself up for humiliation. I'm suggesting that you put down your guard and be yourself. Being cool is all good and well, but cool people don't have fun. Not really. They simply intermittently wallow in the satisfaction of knowing that their countenance and well-honed public image is beyond reproach by modern standards.
     
     
6. Share things that are interesting to you.
   
   • Post links to web pages that interest you. Post lyrics to songs. Beautiful photos. Silly jokes. Games. It allows you to express yourself and allows others the opportunity to get to know you and get to know themselves better as well in relation to how what you've shared of yourself makes them feel.
     
     
7. Give yourself permission to not respond to all requests and applications.
   
   • If you don't you'll quickly find yourself overwhelmed by drink requests and bunny ears and you'll find yourself avoiding Facebook altogether thus denying your Facebook friends the opportunity to get to know you better and vice-versa. Sometimes if I'm away for a week or so I am greeted with a ridiculous amount of requests and I have to simply go through the list and ignore ignore and ignore with a reasonable lack of prejudice. Done deal, now I am free to have fun. Remember that most requests are sent out in masse so you will not be offending anyone if you don't return the button or the cyber drink. And if they are offended, well, do you think you should take their offense seriously or give it time and let it pass? Which leads me to...
     
     
8. De-friend people only on rare occasions and always as a last resort.
   
   • 99% of the time you will end up regretting your decision to de-friend somebody. And unless you're the best of friends and have a very honest and loving relationship, chances are that your relationship will never be the same. Unless having that person there makes you feel unsafe, violated, sad, or has a negative effect on your life or family relationships in general and hampers your ability to enjoy Facebook at all leave them there. Drama passes. And remember the old adage - keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. It's comforting and can be healthy to see "enemies" as real people too. But be careful, you may find yourself without any enemies at all.
     

I'll update this article if I come up with any other juicy tidbits. Until then, enjoy!