We can learn something from Tyler Durden

Re-Post: Originally posted 11/25/2008
I'm still down with the stomach flu, as is Dennis, but there is a light at the end of that tunnel! Hope you all have a fabulous Tuesday. ~ Heather

The other day I happened upon a link to a fun little left brain right brain test that I will not post here due to gratuitous nippleage. I shared the link with The Bitter Half who clicked on one of the side links and found Tyler Durden's 8 Rules of Innovation. Tyler Durden, of course, being a character from Chuck Palahniuk's "Fight Club". He began reading them aloud to me, a fire in his eyes I hadn't seen in months. "You know Heather, this sounds like what you're doing", he said. At the mention of my name, the glaze that had begun to form over my brain evaporated and I began to actually listen to what he was saying.

Tyler’s First Rule of Innovation:

“No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.”

You can spend a lifetime pouring your energy into anything and everything except what truly matters to you. I think it's helpful to plop yourself down in a comfy chair with a pad and pen and literally jot down what makes you happy, engaged and passionate. You might even want to form an outline of sorts based upon that list to include things that support and encourage, or are important to sustain your passions. You do the same when organizing your house—toss anything that you don't consider to be beautiful or useful.

Items on this list may include your family, friends, work, art, sports, health, beauty, love.

If you're feeling exceedingly industrious you may even want to do a flip-side list. Jot down everything in your life that makes you feel sad or angry, drained, or bored. If these items don't coincide items on your passion outline, or are not absolutely critical to sustaining them, make a vow to erase them from your life.

Items on this list may include members of your family, a friend, your job, a workout, etc. You get the picture.

Tyler’s Second Rule of Innovation:

“No fear! No distractions! The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide!”

Gotcha. This is no joke.

Tyler’s Third Rule of Innovation:

“I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let’s evolve, let the chips fall where they may.”

Take chances. Fail. Take another chance. Fail again. Become a whirling dervish. Try anything and everything that comes to your mind. It is only through this process of attempting and failing that we can whittle down our list of might-be's and hone in on what is truly important to us. What we want. If we don't know what we want we aren't ever going to get it. Who knows, during this process we may accidentally discover hidden talents and gain a new sense of possibility.

Tyler’s Fourth Rule of Innovation:

“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”

We can become encumbered by things we thought necessary to sustain us. A job we despise. A relationship. Our mortgage. Our stuff. Things like job loss, breakups and foreclosures can and should be seen as golden opportunities. They just might be the universe's way of shoving us onto the road less traveled. The road that will make all the difference. Sometimes life takes action to do the thing we can not, and as a consequence we are set free.

Tyler’s Fifth Rule of Innovation:

“You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your f*%#ing khakis.”

We are what we are when we lose all of these things. The same us that we were before we had them. Now I think it's okay to have a job, money in the bank and wallet, a car and khakis (if your butt can pull them off), but they are only window dressing. We can not seek to be defined by stuff. Stuff is dead.

It's okay to own some Blahnik's or a BMW if they are on your list of passions or things that sustain your passions. If you find them to be beautiful or useful. Just know that they are not you. They don't make you a better or more beautiful person. They are just shoes or a car and some day they will break or be gone, and that's okay because you will still be there.

Tyler’s Sixth Rule of Innovation:

“People do it everyday, they talk to themselves… they see themselves as they’d like to be, they don’t have the courage you have, to just run with it.”

This is critical. Much harder of course if you are a breadwinner and/or a caregiver and have people who depend on you. But it can be done. Go to night school. Work on your projects whenever and wherever you can. It doesn't really matter if you ever achieve your goal. The pursuit of happiness is a form of happiness.

Tyler’s Seventh Rule of Innovation:

“Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.”

We can be the best that we can be, not the best that she can be. I've been a lot happier since being given the opportunity to stay home and take care of my babies. In the doing of this I have been able to shed decades of false fronts and armor. A suit is a uniform. Although I was good at my job, the business I was in was never a passion of mine, so that uniform became a prison that starved my creative soul.

Every day I am getting to know me a little better. I wish I'd laid down my arms decades ago. And I am thankful to have such a loving and supportive husband who took one look in my eyes the week I was due to return to work after having Joe and said, "You must not go". I simply could not be away from my son. We hadn't planned for it and could not afford it. We've lost a lot of money and things because of it. But it was the best decision we ever made and it has made all the difference.

Tyler’s Eighth Rule of Innovation:

“This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time.”

Act now. Do not allow yourself the opportunity to talk yourself out of making the changes that must be made. It will take some work and some doing, but it will be worth it. I once knew somebody who wanted an MBA. She calculated the time it would take her to achieve her goal by going to night school and said, "I won't have that MBA until I'm forty!". A wise soul said to her, "You will be forty anyway. Wouldn't you rather be forty with an MBA?".

To quote my favorite Star Trek Captain Jean-Luc Picard, "Engage!".