- Image by mlhradio via Flickr
If you scoop up your toddlers and head over to Garland, TX (King of the Hill's Arlen, TX was based upon Garland) to visit Walmart are you officially a redneck?
Is it okay to drink Diet Coke while you're eating Honey Bunches of Oats if you can't find your coffee maker?
Is it acceptable to walk around the house in bare feet in Texas, and open the door to your new neighbor whose adorable daughter is selling Girl Scout cookies, or does this create a bad initial impression and compound your redneckery?
Why do we look fatter in the mirrors at a new house?
Is it the prenatal vitamins that make our hair so long and thick postpartum, or the pregnancy hormones, and if it's the former can similar results be achieved with a generic multivitamin?
Is it pointless to serve hummingbird food (to hummingbirds) during the winter?
Do toddlers prefer mittens to gloves?
What's the best way to lose the c-section belly flap?
Is it mean to let your dogs watch you prepare food through the kitchen sliding glass door, or does it make them feel like one of the pack?
Do carbonated drinks make you fat even if they don't contain caffeine?
Do squirrels like yogurt?
Yes
ReplyDeleteNo
Yes
Just fine, the kid thinks you're cool
The mirrors are defective
Take prenatals all the time and it stays that way. I always take them.
No they need it now more than ever
Mine likes both but I prefer mittens because they are easier to put on.
Tummy tuck
Not mean but funny
I vote yes :(
I have no idea.
.-= Mel´s last blog ..Sometimes you're the bug, sometimes you're the windshield =-.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Heather, Heather. Heather said: Reality check, please! http://tinyurl.com/ydp2rll [...]
ReplyDelete- you have a skylight in your bathroom? ... fancy
ReplyDelete- everyone goes to Wally world, no matter what color their neck is.
- Diet Coke and cereal, nice .. who needs a coffee maker?
- It depends, Did your socks have holes in them?
- I think we learned to avoid the "bad" mirrors in our old houses
- You mean all I gotta do is steal Ana's vitamins to grow hair again?
- have you seen any humming birds? If so, I bet they're hungry.
- If your toddler knows the difference, you've got a smart kid.
- pass (using my guy card)
- it's probably mean, but it can also be funny. I just laughed .. memories.
- What's the sense in drinking anything without caffeine? seriously.
- Was that the "bonus" question?
lol, ok now hopefully these weren't supposed to be rhetorical questions. ;-)
.-= Todd Morris´s last blog ..My Ipod Makes Me Feel Old =-.
The scuttlebutt says the bird who stared at you through the skylight thinks you've still got it. Hurray!
ReplyDelete.-= jan geronimo´s last blog ..Dimwit Blogger’s Reality Check =-.
You're not a redneck until you hang the Confederate flag in your yard/window/pick-up truck. Btw, Dwayne has this huge Confederate flag, but he's not a redneck. We never fly it. And I met a guy once who referred to Walmart as Rednecks-R-Us. Not sure if this helps.
ReplyDeleteBare feet is acceptable everywhere and all the time! :D I have flat feet [seriously, no arch at all] and prefer to be barefoot.
Can't help with the c-section. Mine were all vaginal births [can I say vaginal here?] 8O
What was the question again?
.-= Anne´s last blog ..How to Rid Yourself of Negativity and Let the Happiness Inside =-.
I thought of something about Walmart. I think you're okay unless you go looking like these people:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.peopleofwalmart.com/
.-= Mel´s last blog ..I am a college student =-.
"redneckery"...that's a new one I haven't heard yet but I like it. I asked my dr once how to get rid of the c-section belly flap and he said the ONLY thing to fix it is surgery. In fact, he said doing any kind of abdominal exercises would make it worse so I avoid sit-ups like the plague now. But honestly if I had to undergo cosmetic surgery and I could only have one thing fixed, it would most definitely be a boob lift. I can hide the belly flap easily but the saggy boobs are little bit harder to disguise!
ReplyDelete.-= Helene´s last blog ..Tell me....does this sound familiar? =-.
If you’re in the shower and a bird stares at you through your skylight does it mean you’ve “still got it”? No, it means that you have birdseed in your hair.
ReplyDeleteIf you scoop up your toddlers and head over to Garland, TX (King of the Hill’s Arlen, TX was based upon Garland) to visit Walmart are you officially a redneck?Yes.
Is it okay to drink Diet Coke while you’re eating Honey Bunches of Oats if you can’t find your coffee maker?Only on Tuesdays.
Is it acceptable to walk around the house in bare feet in Texas, and open the door to your new neighbor whose adorable daughter is selling Girl Scout cookies, or does this create a bad initial impression and compound your redneckery? Is there a truck parked on your lawn?
Why do we look fatter in the mirrors at a new house?You're not squinting anymore from the heat of the desert.
Is it the prenatal vitamins that make our hair so long and thick postpartum, or the pregnancy hormones, and if it’s the former can similar results be achieved with a generic multivitamin?No one told me that there would be math on this test.
Is it pointless to serve hummingbird food (to hummingbirds) during the winter?It is important to help fatten them up for the Texas Hummingbird barbecue festival.
Do toddlers prefer mittens to gloves?Maybe
What’s the best way to lose the c-section belly flap?A good saw helps or alternatively you can visit one of those body modifcation places. In addition to body piercings they can help turn the flap into a pouch so that you can become a kangaroo.
Is it mean to let your dogs watch you prepare food through the kitchen sliding glass door, or does it make them feel like one of the pack?Better be careful not to fall asleep.
Do carbonated drinks make you fat even if they don’t contain caffeine?Didn't we cover this on the mirror question.
Do squirrels like yogurt?Yes. They really like it using to condition their fur.
.-= Jack´s last blog ..These Pictures of You =-.
These are very profound questions, Heather. I think we need the help of the very best scientists, philosophers, systems analysts, paranormal investigators, forensic analysts, and self-help gurus to answer these cases. Or maybe we should just call Batman. Hmm... if Batman was in Texas, do you think he can still do his bat thing while he's there?
ReplyDelete.-= Ryhen | Mind Power´s last blog ..History Repeats Itself =-.
Your questions are very interesting Heather. Can I add a bit more? Are expired poisons still poisonous? :D
ReplyDeleteIts not the caffeine that makes you fat, but the sugar, I think.
ReplyDelete.-= Mr. Cheesy´s last blog ..Love Letter Template =-.
I loves you for your sweetness and your honesty, Mel! Just a big hug. :)
ReplyDeleteMel, those people look fancy and overdressed compared to how I look in Walmart. Especially the lady with the cat! lol
ReplyDeleteLOL! Jan, I think you are kind, but the bird probably thought I was a giant, pulsating ball of worms. (Ick!)
ReplyDeleteTodd, who knew you were so flipping funny? LOL! I spit out my Ozarka over the "I just laughed .. memories." comment. You're bad!
ReplyDeleteAnne, you totally made me laugh too with Dwayne and the Confederate flag. No Confederate flags in my house, so I think I've got a tenuous hold on lower middle class lol
ReplyDeleteMy feet are sort of flat, too. When I was a kid my shoes had to have arches in them. Made quite the dork of me. Sigh.
OMG you said vaginal! You are but (or should I say butt?) the second international sex pervert I know. It's all good. 8)
Helene, thank you for the information! If surgery is the only way to fix it, I wonder why they didn't just tuck it in correctly during the c-section! Be kind, give Momma some slack, Jack! Good to know about the sit-ups. Everything I read said you really need to do a lot of ab exercises. I feel like I have no strength down there anymore, and it probably effects our backs as well.
ReplyDeleteI hear you on the boob lift! So far I've still got the massive amount of baby weight I gained (before they found the thyroid problem that kicked in with Joe) and I'm still hanging on to nursing Lily here and there, but I know when that stops, and maybe that's why I'm still fat??, my boobs are going to betray me.
How do you feel about getting a boob job? Part of me would love to do it, and I don't blame others for doing so, but the other part wonders how I could spend that much money on myself, and what kind of message I would be sending my daughter. I just don't know. I think I need to work on getting thing again first, then worrying about this. Thanks, Helene!
I'm just sitting here with my mouth open. Oops, a fly. You are a silly, silly, Jack. LOL about not falling asleep. I think you're right!
ReplyDeleteOh no, and you are a Facebook friend, too! I'd better step up my redneckery a notch. We only have two dogs. I could start there... ;-)
ReplyDeleteI aim to please, Ryhen. I don't think Batman visits Texas. However, we do harbor chupacabras from what I understand. I like to think of them as misunderstood servants of truth and justice, not unlike yourself. :wink:
ReplyDeleteYes, you are right! I meant to type carbonated sodas, not caffeinated. I was tired. Brain not working. Now I want cheese. Why is that???
ReplyDeleteOh dear God, I don't KNOW! Now I'm freaked out about it. Oops, I don't have any poisons. Except for that one that smells like almonds, of course. Heh.
ReplyDeleteOh I am well beyond silly. I fall into an entirely new category somewhere between loony and eccentric. Just don't ask which. ;)
ReplyDelete.-= Jack´s last blog ..Midweek Monstrosity- Recent Posts =-.
Are you by chance wearing a powdered wig and smoking a pipe?
ReplyDeleteHmm...you must be looking in the window. Thought I heard something.
ReplyDeleteI talked to that little birdie and it said: "She's still has it, or she wouldn't be asking all those questions."
ReplyDeleteMy question, (now, you've created a trend).
"Is little Joe proud of his haircut? "
LOL Jena! Yes, Joe loves his haircut. He was strutting around that day!
ReplyDeleteHi, Lin! My Mom is currently living in Garland because she got a really good deal on an apartment there. We're hoping to relocate her to Plano eventually. :) Nice to meet another blogger in the area! Sorry it took me so inexcusably long to respond to your hilarious comment, I'm trying to get back on my game.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, I should definitely start soaking up some blue collar comedy. I like to throw myself into things. Should I get some more hairspray, too? And really Flo out? Will that help me to blend in? Hee hee.