Dallas, there goes your neighborhood. Raise your fences and hide your sheep, cause here come the Kepharts!Dennis and I found out on Friday that he was offered a position at the Dallas, Texas branch of his current employer. We're very excited and looking forward to the adventure, but this news leaves us with mixed emotions.
I've lived in California my entire life, and all of my family lives here. It will make me sad to move this far away from them, and from the west coast, as it is the backdrop for all of my memories. Gratefully, my Mother will be making the move with us, and living with us until she finds an apartment of her own. Dennis' father and stepmother live in the Dallas/Ft Worth area, so we will have some other family there. Plus, I have some friends in the Austin, Texas area, among them Holly Jahangiri and Jannie Funster.
Although we knew there was a possibility of this happening, I hadn't considered it a viable probability and kept it on the outer rim of my consciousness. I'm excited to move to Dallas, but the timing has me thrown. This news, plus news of a situation with the health of one of my lifelong best friends had me shaken and in tears most of the weekend. I missed three full days of writing and now I'm more than 6,000 words behind in Nanowrimo. We have a full month and a half to make this move, but with the holidays coming up I wonder about the practicality of concentrating on my personal writing goal when my time might be better spend weeding through and selling or giving away some of our personal items in preparation for this move, and preparing for Joe's birthday, and Christmas, etc.
To be honest, had I known we would be making this move, I never would have chosen to participate in Nano this year. But I didn't know, and I did choose to participate. I made the commitment. What would you do at this point? A little bird tells me that if I quit Nano I will feel like a failure and that I should stick it out and devote the next two weeks to it, even more time than I had been, trying to get caught up. If I suck it up and focus my energies and complete Nano I will feel a tremendous amount of accomplishment. If I quit, I will probably beat myself up for the next year. Plus, I will let down the people who are rooting for me and sitting beside me on the Nano journey.
But the other side of me wants to spend the time preparing for the move. I've never lived outside of California, and we will be needing to dump a lot of stuff to cut moving costs to the bare minimum. There are so many details to be attended to, and logistics aren't my forte', so I'll have to work extra hard to make sure this move goes off without a hitch.
I am looking for some advice here. Please don't say what you think I want to hear, but let me know what you would do in my situation. Thanking you in advance should any of you choose to accept this mission!
don't feel bad about nanowrimo! You are doing it for you. I'm behind and I don't have any excuses as big as MOVING HALFWAY ACROSS THE COUNTRY. It's a big deal! Trust me! I'll do Nanowrimo on my own with you when you get settled if you want :)
ReplyDeleteI would worry about the move first and foremost. I know that if you make a goal for yourself you'll finish it so when you're moved you can go back to your Nanowrimo goal even if it's in a month that no one else is doing it.
ReplyDelete.-= Mel´s last blog ..When flour and child collide =-.
I say screw the parameters of Nanowrimo. And if you do choose to Nano no more, then Heather Kephart, DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP.
ReplyDeleteLife is too short. Keep it in perspective. Nano is a TOOL to encourage you to write, nothing more. Yes it is also a commitment you made to use that tool, but honestly, will it continue to accomplish it's job now that your mind and heart are "elsewhere"?
Dallas IS a HUGE move for you personally on so many levels.
And, like it or not, "Mama also sets the tone" for the cadence of "home" and all that impacts it. Please ask yourself honestly, can you possibly embrace all of the excitement and optimism of this Dallas move if you are still participating in Nano?
I personally would ditch any non-mandatory commitment in a heartbeat if I was facing a move to Dallas within your time frame. In a heartbeat Heather.
Through my non-writing eyes, Thanksgiving, Joe's birthday, Christmas and "separating" yourself from your life long home to move on and embrace another "home" trump the Nano commitment any day of the week.
But that's me :-)
Only you truly know what is the right choice for you, as your writing is such a part of who you are. But please Heather, TRUST in yourself that you will make the right choice. And once it's made, put it away not to be agonized over one way or the other. Just let it be done.
(Love you so much, and am genuinely excited for you and this news!)
Holy @#$%! Wowzers, this is HUGE! Congratulations to Dennis on the job, and to both of you for embarking on this adventure together. I am in TOTAL agreement with all the comments above. Ditch Nano without guilt! Take it from me, a mom who's moved her family cross-country in the last 5 months -- you will need EVERY SECOND to organize your move, look for a new home, spearhead logistics, reassure children who WILL sense your stress, and cook the occasional edible meal for some semblance of normality (not to mention use every possible perishable item in your pantry/fridge/freezer). Plus, you'll have so many last-minute social invitations to manage in Cali -- farewell playdates, wine/margaritas with girlfriends, dinners with your family -- you're going to feel like Miss Congeniality on steroids.
ReplyDeleteHoney, you are the quarterback in this situation, and you have to step up and lead your family. From what I gather, Nano is an annual thing -- and it will wait for you next year.
I'm wishing you the very best of luck, and sending you lots of hugs! xo
.-= Lea´s last blog ..“Fireflies” Obsession: Art & Life Intermingled. =-.
How exciting! I moved from South Florida to the mountains of Virginia 7 years ago. Away from all of my family and the place of so many memories [good and bad]. :?
ReplyDeleteI am amazed at your dedication to NanoWriMo, but think of all the new exciting story lines you will have once you move. New thoughts and feelings and sights. You could make a commitment to yourself to shelve the 50,000 words and pick up where you left off after you get settled. Pick a month and let everyone know and we can join in. I could always use a refresher challenge. But now is the time for family and new adventures.
.-= Anne´s last blog ..Nacional Records Sampler 2009 | The New Sounds Of Latin Music ~ More Free Music from Amazon =-.
Take it from a guy who has moved more than "Black Panther" logistics company. This might be easier said than done to you, but priorities are priorities.
ReplyDeleteThat said and if your move to Dallas is "locked on", then I strongly recommend you to attend to everything that is related to accomplish this and set aside other matters that are not of equal importance. You got to find a new place to live, you got furniture, your kids schooling or nursery or whatever, an awful lot of things to get rid off (yeah, they do pile up and you can be surprised), etc.
NaNo is a personal objective, and moving to Dallas involves an entire family. I know it was a commitment you made to yourself and some of your friends and supporters, but quite frankly to hell with them if they do not understand that a higher priority has just landed and it is certainly not Nano (I should think). Think of it this way, plans change and we must adopt the plan to current situations. When you made the commitment for Nano, the idea about Dallas was non existent, right? Nano is not going anywhere and you got @Margo who is willing to help you go through it, if you think that it is a must. There you go, a true friend.. which reminds me, now that the possibility of being closer to Holly is almost certain, just make sure you don't get invited to eat her famous "Tripes", lol. Take care and I really wish you all the best.
Sorry, I am not very good at this, but I tried:)
Hhaving to leave some friends behind, but then again meet new ones (ooppss, jsut make sure Holly does not invite you to eat tripes, heh)
.-= DiTesco´s last blog ..DiTesco's Weekly Echo #10 =-.
Oh, no, no, no - I'll be saving the balut for Heather, now! None of that tripe business.
ReplyDeleteMy God, woman - NaNoWriMo is supposed to be GUILT-FREE! Somehow, you've missed the instruction to "Stuff the evil inner critic in a moving box and mislabel it 'Timbuktu: Outhouse Furnishings.'" I can't believe I didn't make that part clear to you from the outset. The funky urinal cakes will still be there next year, and the year after - and NO ONE in their right mind would suggest that you could ONLY write during the month of November. "Unfinished" does not equal "abandoned."
Now, on to the most important question: Is four hours' drive far enough to ensure the safety of the known universe? Dare we tempt fate and visit one another? Hell yeah! It's that Law of Attraction crap - I keep thinking, "Heather really needs to be closer, because we could SO wreak havoc on the known universe if only she were closer!"
Listen to DiTesco, too. That man's wise beyond his years.
.-= Holly Jahangiri´s last blog ..Copyright Essentials for Writers =-.
P.S. Just one little thing. I know that Texas is so huge it does practically render Austin a suburb of Houston, but they don't appreciate being reminded of that fact. They generally like to think of themselves as being a good three hours out of town.
ReplyDelete.-= Holly Jahangiri´s last blog ..Copyright Essentials for Writers =-.
We're having a tweetup on Dec 1st. Will you be able to make it by then? If you need any help with the house hunting, be sure to give me a call. You can visit my website to search the MLS. If you aren't familiar with the area though, you'll want someone who can show you around and help you find a good location.
ReplyDeleteDallas is going to be blessed to have you!
Terri "Ta-Dah Mom" Camp
.-= Terri Camp´s last blog ..Luxury Foreclosures Southlake and Colleyville Texas =-.
Congratulations to Dennis on the new job! Wow, big news!! But I do have to say that I'm bummed that you're moving before I've had a chance to head down to Southern CA (Disneyland with the family) to meet you in person! Our kids would have SO much fun together. Or would have had....(guilt, guilt)...LOL
ReplyDeleteI do agree with what others have written. The move is your priority obviously. This is a huge move, too. It's not like you're just moving a few towns away...you're moving a few states away.
I admire your dedication and desire to follow through on your commitment for the writing contest but if anything has to fall by the way side, I would say it would have to that. If you get any free time during the day or in the evening after the kiddos are in bed and you feel like writing, go for it. But don't feel bad if you can't. You have a lot on your plate!
.-= Helene´s last blog ..Christian Siriano....you better watch out =-.
Congratulations to your husband and your family! :D
ReplyDeleteI would focus more on the move, I think. Being that I'm a slight pack rat (I keep a lot of stuff. A LOT.) sorting will definitely be a long and cumbersome process.
I think you should too. NaNoWriMo can wait, and I'm definite you can forgive yourself for it. :D Family first eh? :wink:
Moving is exciting Heather! And Houston will be wonderful, I'm sure. :D
.-= reyjr´s last blog ..Leonids Meteor Shower! How could I not blog about it? =-.
Thanks for taking time out of your busy lives to impart such wonderful advice to me! I'm so blessed. You're all awesome! Again, thank you!
ReplyDeleteWhatever you decide on Heather, I'll be here to support you. "It's only with the heart that one can see rightly." Do what your heart tells you.
ReplyDeleteGood luck.
.-= Jena Isle´s last blog ..Bookshop and Reading =-.
How exciting! I agree with everyone else. Nano is a fun challenge you took on, but seriously...you need to handle your move first and foremost. I'll be surprised if you have time to tweet :)
ReplyDelete.-= Dawn´s last blog ..High Stupidity Warning =-.
Congratulations!!!
ReplyDeleteI also don't have any excuse, I have procrastinated too much LOL. I am way behind too.
This is exciting! We will hear from you when you blog about the new home at Texas. I do hope that the cowboy hats and boots are ready for 'ya!
Z
.-= Zorlone´s last blog ..His Memory of Her Home =-.
Oh, it is really hard to decide now Heather. I know writing is your passion. But you cannot really deny the fact that you need great attention on your moving activity. If possible, just provide an hour or two to your Nano writing, then, even if your fingers seem to have a mind of its own, control it, and stop it when your time is already up. Proceed on the most important matter - moving activity.
ReplyDeleteIn the end, if you failed to finish the Nano writing, I believe you won't regret it, for you had spared enough time at it. :)
.-= madz´s last blog ..Contest Isn't Over, You Can Still Submit Your Entry =-.
Thanks, guys. :D As it turns out I'm uberstressed up to my eyeballs. Every challenge leads to other challenges that branch off into more challenges. I will come to the internet for refuge and release, but not to write. THAT will most definitely need to wait!
ReplyDeleteMargo, I will find you when the time is right! lol Also, I can't wait to return to writing exercises. I miss doing those.
Stick with NaNoWriMo but throw out the daily word count quota. Take liberties. Write it in your head as you go about doing the less demanding little chores and put them down once you've some breathing room to write. Forget about the quota. Just write what's simmering at the backburner all day. So what if it's just a sentence. Remember Hemingway's words about writing one true sentence? The idea is to keep the momentum you've built. Just imagine you've only one sentence or one paragraph to show for any given day because you've lopped off the fluff.
ReplyDeleteGive yourself permission to enjoy this new development in your family. Congrats to your husband.
And good luck to the rest of the universe as you and Holly and Jannie formally makes your unholy alliance official. :)
.-= jan geronimo´s last blog ..Read My Lips: Twitter Lists Are Meant to be Exclusionary =-.
Jan's right. (Kind of freaky how often that happens...)
ReplyDelete.-= Holly Jahangiri´s last blog ..Delicious Irony: Mattel, Target, Wal-Mart Make Headlines Again =-.
OMG. OMG. OMG.
ReplyDeleteWe're creating the Texas version of the Bermuda Triangle -- you, Jannie, and me. This is just SCARY, now.
Where's the OTHER Texas Holly? Just how much danger are we exposing Texas to, here, anyway?
.-= Holly Jahangiri´s last blog ..Delicious Irony: Mattel, Target, Wal-Mart Make Headlines Again =-.
Dear Heather,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all congragulations to both, on the moving and being a participant in NaNoWriMo. I shan't tell you what road to take, as that is down to you. All I can offer is for you to see things in a different light. When I did NaNoWriMo for the first time it was because I challenged myself to see if I could still write well, with no plot and idea of what I was to write. It was not about the word count, it was just about simply writing with no goal, just to see what could come out of me.
I suppose the feeling of writing relentlessly did help at the time, but what I am trying to get at is that if you are doing this to unveil yourself as a writer than the words don't matter, as what counts is your experience in this exercise and the story you are telling.
Ultimatetly NaNoWriMo is a learning experience as by the end of it you get to question why you wrote what you wrote, and not so much the level of words written. Now if you feel like a failure backing out because you need to organise boxes for your move, don't as there is no need to. Think of it like this as a new experience, like any other, you are still learning no matter what, and there is no teacher at the end cursing at you for being out of line, as in the end you are that teacher and you can experience, and learn from anything you like. :)
Keep well.
I am sure that whatever path you take, will be the right choice for you, and only you. :) *Remember that*
.-= Ana´s last blog ..Human Reminder =-.
Ana, I don't know where you came from, but thank you so much for visiting and leaving three such wonderful comments to grace my blog.
ReplyDeleteYour advice is fantastic. I started writing with the intention of producing the most marketable material rather than what I probably should have been writing. When I'm done with all the packing and moving I fully intend to keep at this. Not relentlessly since it really cut into the time I can spend with my kids, read, do writing exercises, etc., but at my own pace. I think, like Jan Geronimo said, the key is to keep the momentum going even if it is a sentence per day.
I learned a lot in the 19,000 words I did finish. About writing scenes, pacing, dialogue, etc. I learned that those writing exercises I used to do where I was to just write and write about nothing really are helpful because the creative mind when writing is meant to flow organically, it can't always be planned out.
Anyway, I'm talking your ear off (or reading your eyes off), my point is thanks for taking an interest and passing along your wisdom. Hope we can become blogging buddies!
Ha ha HA! Beware the crazy female superforce!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice. Very, very wise and I've taken it to heart. How did you get so smart? :)
Congratulations to Dennis! This is such a big thing for you. I know the frightening feelings as I have lived in the same city for 40 years. As for writing- right now your family comes first. There is always next year.
ReplyDeleteRose, thank you! I can't even imagine living in the same city for 40 years. I have always sought out new environments. I'm always re-arranging the furniture in our house, even. Maybe I needed it at the time in order to shed labels and progress as a person, or maybe it was an attempt to escape intimacy with others. That said, as I grow older the thought of carving out a permanent home somewhere seems more appealing to me. I don't know if this will be our home forever, or if we'll end up moving back to California someday. But I need to go into it with the mindset of settling in and becoming a part of the community. Both for myself and for the kiddos.
ReplyDeleteDear Heather,
ReplyDeleteA pleasure to hear from you. :)
I came from another website-come to think of it I don't recall it now, but I am very happy I am here too.
Pleased to be acquainted with you.
I am happy that you are shining in your choice, and learning from that of your own experience.
Have fun, and most importantly take it easy! :)
.-= Ana´s last blog ..Words of wisdom =-.
Moving is so much work and a long distance move with the holidays coming up makes the stress level even worse. IMHO, skip Nanowrimo and focus on your life. You can always pick up your writing later on your own or work with the group next year.
ReplyDeleteCongrats to Dennis and to you! What an adventure for your family!
.-= ConnieFoggles´s last blog ..Kids Clothing Online Sales =-.
Hi Connie! You're so right about the holidays. Reminds me, I need to get to work on two presents I started last month! Yipes!
ReplyDeleteThank you! Looking forward to being there, but not all the crap involved in getting there.
Hi Heather,
ReplyDeleteOur family recently (this past April) moved to Texas too. So far, it's treating us well. As for the "priorities" of moving ... well as someone who has been "in" the military my entire life, and therefore moved a LOT ... I can tell you that the move should have full attention.
The rest of the stuff will still be there after you get settled in.
But if you try to continue to do too much while you're distracted, your results will probably suffer to some extent. It's probably better to wait until you can give a project your full, undivided attention.
Just my two pennies ... hope it helps.
.-= Todd Morris´s last blog ..Todd’s Best Home Business Tips =-.
[...] Lilypooh and I will be flying to Dallas today in search of a home, and will be returning to Southern California on Sunday evening. [...]
ReplyDelete